'I'm 45 and going through perimenopause. This is the one thing that truly shocked me.'

Thanks to our brand partner, TENA

So, was perimenopause always like this?

I mean, did our mothers and grandmothers go through this too but just never talk about it?

I love that women of my age are far more open about the trials and tribulations that come with the decline of reproductive hormones, but wow. What a ride.

It can last for 10 years (yikes). It starts around the time you turn 40 — strap yourselves in ladies — but it can start even earlier than that. It's also mostly the pits.

On a positive note, we're all in this together. Some or all of the surprise peri symptoms are being felt by your female friends, so let's talk, laugh and share to get us through.

Approaching your last period, your menstrual cycle becomes irregular — but that means it could be shorter, longer, (much) heavier, lighter or you might skip it completely. Take your pick. Could be any or all of these from one month to the next. A period roulette, if you will.

But this is somewhat expected, I guess, and with more than 30 years of periods under our belts, we're sort of ready for it.

What we're not ready for? The brain fog. It gets cloudier up there than a snow-capped mountain. Schedules get mixed up, words fail, appointments slip your mind. Trying to focus on the task at hand? Near impossible when your brain's pulling you five different ways — none of which relate to what you're meant to be doing. Helpful, right?

I am completely reliant on my mobile phone calendar these days — which is quite the tool, if I can remember where I left my phone.

Continence changes are a wee little problem that looks to be here to stay. A hearty laugh, a deep sneeze or an extra wine before the taxi ride home and you'll find that you can't hold on quite like you used to.

Our body's way of saying it's sick of doing all the work down there and needs a break? Totally warranted, but we'd like to be prepared for this, wouldn't we?

Watch: MOVE LBL Friendly workouts. Post continues after video

As with numerous perimenopause symptoms, when hormone levels drop, previously those hormones helped keep the pelvic floor and bladder strong — suddenly, it becomes harder to control.

Bladder leaks were actually the one thing that truly shocked me about perimenopause. Bladder issues aren't just about pregnancy or giving birth. And they're definitely not something that only hits when you're too old to race to the bathroom.

It creeps up on you but you can be ready for it.

Challenging the outdated narratives about bladder leaks, TENA has a range of products that are effective and empower us to deal with whatever escapes with ease, confidence and discretion. Light pads, liners and washable underwear feature in the range used by many women approaching menopause and let you get on with your day.

The more "embarrassing" symptoms of perimenopause are often overlooked, so it's important to chat to friends and family about them. You'll find solidarity in sharing your stories and feel much more prepared for the next chapter of your life.

The tossing and turning that happens overnight is a new beast, because you can have times where you can't fall asleep for hours or wake up multiple times a night (sometimes both), sweat like you've just been for a workout (you haven't) and wake in the morning looking like you haven't slept a wink.

Insomnia results in anxiety about not being able to sleep, making it hard to concentrate during the day.

Cotton bedding and pyjamas help me get through — the breathable fibres keep you cool and comfortable overnight.

Hot flushes during the day are common too — keep an eye out for women in my age group wearing a T-shirt when the weather calls for coats and scarves, and give them a knowing nod.

Keeping my cool with the family is getting increasingly harder though, with mood swings having an impact.

Not that long ago, I would have said I'm very level-headed and patient. These days? My husband will ask me the 19th question for the day and I'll clap back, not really understanding why I suddenly have little tolerance.

Hormone fluctuations are real. See also: zero tolerance for kids fighting, arguing, playing loud music or bouncing balls in the house.

Then there's the itching. Oh, the itching! Arms, legs, stomach, ears. Declining oestrogen can make skin feel drier and thinner.

Humidifiers help by adding moisture to the air, but I try not to have my showers too hot and I drink more water regularly to hydrate. It kind of helps, but what the?!

We do what we can to have some control over what's happening to our bodies. Whether it's having brunch with a friend to lighten the emotional load or taking time out for some pampering, it helps ease the weight of feeling like your body is shifting (again) without your permission.

The worst part? Not knowing when it will end.

Just like when it started, the ending is unpredictable. Menopause is officially diagnosed after 12 months without a period, but the journey there varies wildly.

So talk more, ask questions and gather your girl gang for support.

Going through perimenopause? Get your free TENA samples kit online.

Feature Image: Supplied.

Rethink bladder leaks, rethink your protection with TENA. Free samples at TENA.com.au.