'I'm a psychologist, here's what most people get wrong about emotions.'

Before I became a clinical psychologist, I was a concert pianist.

I performed around Australia and even overseas, as a soloist at concerts. For me, every performance began the same way: a hush would fall over the audience, the lights would dim, and I'd feel a familiar surge of nerves.

My heart would race, my hands would tremble ever so slightly, and a wave of anxiety would wash over me as I walked towards the piano.

Watch: Tim Minchin opens up about performance anxiety on Mamamia's 'But Are You Happy' podcast. Post continues below.

For years, I thought these feelings were a sign of something being "wrong" — something to overcome or suppress if I wanted to succeed as a musician.

But over time, I began to see those nerves differently. That anxiety wasn't there to sabotage me; it was there to remind me how much I cared about what I was doing. Nerves were telling me music mattered, that I wanted to connect with my audience, and that I was pushing myself to do something meaningful.

In fact, those emotions sharpened my focus and drove some of my best performances.

This realisation changed not only how I approached performing, but also how I understood emotions in everyday life. As I transitioned from the world of music to studying emotions professionally as a psychologist, I realised that all our emotions — whether it's anxiety before a big moment, sadness after a loss, or anger at injustices — aren't necessarily problems to be solved.

They're data points, messages from within that help us understand what matters, what needs attention and what actions we might take next.

Most of us grow up being told that emotions are either "good" or "bad." Happiness? Good. Sadness, anger, anxiety? Bad. But here's the truth: emotions themselves are neither good nor bad.

They simply are.

They exist for a reason, and if we learn to listen, they can become powerful sources of data in our lives.

The idea that we need to change, get rid of, or manage emotions, is something I hear a lot of my clients talk about. I want to provide a different perspective. Before we jump to trying to change an emotion or manage it in some way, let's first understand its existence.

Why is it there, and what is it trying to tell us?

Let's break down a few core emotions and the data they provide us with:

Anger

Anger gets a bad rap, but it's actually a powerful motivator for change. Anger tells us when a boundary has been crossed or when something feels unjust. Anger can motivate people to protest in the streets against unfair treatment or discrimination, to speak out when they witness bullying, or to demand change when they see corruption or inequality.

This emotion energises us to protect ourselves and others, to stand up for what's right, and to push for improvements in our communities and relationships.

Without anger, many important social changes throughout history simply wouldn't have happened.

Anxiety

Anxiety is the emotion that inspired this article and our first podcast episode with But Are You Happy? It's uncomfortable, yes, but it's also a warning system.

Anxiety tells us there's a potential threat or something that needs our attention. I know this feeling from my years as a concert pianist. It was anxiety's way of telling me that what I was about to do mattered. That heightened state wasn't just discomfort. It was my mind and body preparing me to focus, to be present, and to give my best performance.

In the same way, anxiety in everyday life signals that something important needs our attention.

Listen to Mamamia's mental health podcast But Are You Happy: The 5-Minute Method To Stop Your Spiral. Post continues below.

Sadness

Sadness is often misunderstood. It's not a "bad" emotion. It's a signal that we've lost something important or that something needs to change. Sadness can arise after the death of a pet, the end of a friendship or relationship, or moving away from a familiar place.

This emotion isn't just about feeling pain; it's a sign that we value what we've lost and that something meaningful has changed.

Sadness helps us slow down, reflect on our experiences, and often motivates us to seek comfort or support from others.

Guilt

Guilt is our moral compass.

It tells us when our actions don't align with our values or when we may have hurt someone else. It can arise if we forget a friend's birthday, say something unkind in the heat of the moment, or fail to keep a promise. This emotion isn't about being a bad person; it's a sign that we care about our relationships and our principles.

Guilt motivates us to make amends, repair connections, and make better choices in the future.

Happiness

We all love happiness, and for good reason. It's our body's way of saying, "This is good for you. Do more of this!"

When you feel joy after a long walk with a friend or pride after finishing a project, your brain is reinforcing behaviours that are beneficial to your well-being and growth.

So, how do we turn these emotional data points into something useful? Here are a few tips:

• Pause and Notice: Instead of judging or suppressing your emotions, take a moment to notice them. What am I feeling? Where do I feel it in my body?

• Get Curious: Ask yourself, "What is this emotion trying to tell me?" Emotions are messengers, trying to communicate with us.

• Act on the Data: Use the information to make decisions. If you're angry, maybe a boundary needs to be set. If you're anxious, perhaps some preparation or self-care is needed.

Remember, emotions aren't always problems to solve. Often, they are important messages for us to listen to.

Feature Image: Supplied.