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'As a teen, I wanted labiaplasty. One sentence from the surgeon changed my life.'

The following is an excerpt from the book titled: Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva by Ellie Sedgwick at Comfortable in My Skin.

My story starts in high school in Mona Vale, Australia. I was fourteen years old and had just begun puberty. I was sitting in class when a boy tapped me on the shoulder and passed me a note. I opened it and was confronted by the question, "Do you have an innie or an outie?"

Outie? And no, he wasn't talking about belly buttons. Today, I know it describes a vulva with an inner labia that hangs below the outer labia or where the outer labia is considered 'long'.

At this age, I had never seen another vulva, so I had no idea where I sat on the vulva spectrum. This is when my vulva anxiety began, as thoughts ran through my teenage girl brain:

"What is an outie?"

"Is my vulva weird?"

"Am I a normal?"

My vulva anxiety grew throughout my teens, evolving into self-hate as terms like 'badly wrapped kebab', 'upside down volcano' and 'octopussy' were thrown around the schoolyard to describe vulvas.

Watch: 57 per cent of girls compare themselves to other people on social media. Here's how you can help. Post continues after video.


Video via Mamamia.
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At nineteen, I started researching labiaplasty, a surgical procedure that alters the labia minora and/or labia majora. I took the plunge a year later and booked two consultations in Sydney, Australia. Still, I am filled with rage when I reflect on these experiences. Both surgeons were more than happy to slice into my vulva without even seeing what she looked like. There was no discussion of my mental health, self-esteem, and whether I had consulted a therapist for my body insecurities. All these surgeons saw was a dollar sign on my forehead. It's no surprise that labiaplasty is the fastest-growing cosmetic procedure among young Australians.

I couldn't afford the surgery at the time, but that didn't stop me. When I moved to India a year later, I decided it was the perfect place to have labiaplasty as no one would notice my recovery.

As I entered my third consultation, I was so nervous that I blurted out, "I want liposuction," and pointed to my crotch. The doctor began drawing on my thigh with a yellow highlighter. There I was, standing in my undies in India, looking at this doctor, confused as to why he was drawing on my legs and not my vulva. Finally, I spoke up: "Why are you drawing those lines on my legs?"

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"You want liposuction, don't you," he responded.

"On my vagina, not my leg!" I said, still missing the accurate name for my anatomy, which I now know is vulva.

He asked me to take off my undies and show him my vulva. So, I did. As he looked at my vulva, he said the words that eventually led me to create Comfortable in My Skin:

"Ellie, Madam, have you ever seen another vulva?"

He explained that what I was asking to have surgically altered was a completely normal vulva, adding that vulvas are all unique and often different to what is portrayed in porn, movies and magazines.

He encouraged me to research what vulvas look like – homework I took very seriously, as I went on to photograph more than 500 of them!

Inspired by this experience, in 2018 I embarked on creating this book and pledged to photograph the beautiful variety of vulvas. My journey started in Sydney and has taken me all across Australia, London, and New York.

The aim is to show how unique and beautiful each vulva is and shift the narrative from one of secrecy and taboo to openness and acceptance.

I hope this book acts as a resource to help people accept themselves, rather than go under the knife.

Thank you to everyone who spread their legs to spread the word.

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Love Ellie.

Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva by Ellie Sedgwick.

Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva by Ellie Sedgwick is available for pre-order here.

Feature image: Supplied.

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