'I wasn't at rock bottom, but on Christmas morning, "grey area drinking" finally broke me.'

There are Christmases you forget, and then there are the ones that split your life into before and after.

For me, it was the year the festive season became less about magic and more about survival — and the year I finally realised something had to change.

The slow burn into exhaustion.

It didn't happen in one dramatic moment. It crept in quietly, the way grey area drinking so often does.

December was one long boozy build-up — end-of-year parties, work functions, "drinks with the girls," and those casual nightly top-ups that somehow became my reward for simply getting through the day.

By the time Christmas morning rolled around, I wasn't festive. I was fried.

I remember my children jumping into bed early that morning, little faces lit up, squealing about Santa and stockings. And there I was — exhausted, nauseous, head pounding from yet another hangover I'd promised myself I wouldn't wake up with.

I smiled. I played along.

Image: Supplied.

But inside, all I could think was: When will this be over so I can just get to the afternoon… and pour another drink to take the edge off?

That thought — that craving — hit me like cold water.

Not joy.

Not presence.

Not gratitude.

Just the next drink.

The morning I felt like a ghost in my own life.

There's a particular kind of heartbreak that comes when you realise you're physically there with your family, but emotionally… not at all.

It should have felt magical.

Instead, I felt trapped inside my own body — shaky, anxious, nauseous, and deeply ashamed.

That was the Christmas I knew something had to stop.

Women, alcohol and the festive season: Why this happens more than we admit.

When I finally sobered up enough to reflect — not just on that day but on the years leading up to it — I realised my story wasn't unusual. In fact, it's frighteningly common.

Here's what we know:

Alcohol affects women more intensely than men. Women have less of the enzyme ADH, which breaks down alcohol, meaning we feel the effects faster and store more acetaldehyde (the toxic by-product responsible for hangovers).

Over the past 30 years, alcohol use disorder in women has risen by more than 80 per cent, fuelled largely by marketing that positions wine as a coping tool for busy, overwhelmed mothers.

Women in midlife are particularly vulnerable: hormone shifts in perimenopause can amplify alcohol's effects, worsen sleep, increase anxiety, and intensify hangovers.

During December, alcohol consumption spikes by around 40 per cent, and many women drink more in those four weeks than they did in the previous two months combined.

So if you've ever wondered, Why can't I keep up like I used to? Why do I feel so anxious after drinking? Why is everything worse now?

It's not you.

It's physiology — and conditioning — colliding.

Watch: Let's talk about body longevity. Post continues after video.

How grey area drinking sneaks up on us.

Most women I work with were never "problem drinkers." They were functional, high-achieving, capable women who slowly began to rely on alcohol for:

• Stress relief

• Numbing

• Switching off

• Sleep

• Confidence

• Reward

• Escape

That's exactly where I was that Christmas morning — not rock bottom, but stuck in a quiet, relentless loop of drinking to cope, then coping with the drinking.

Grey area drinking lives in the in-between.

Not a stereotype.

Not obvious chaos.

Just a life slowly shrinking around the next glass.

The moment everything changed.

Later that Christmas afternoon, after I'd "recovered" enough to plaster on a smile and pour that first drink of the day, a thought hit me with force:

This is not who I want to be.

This is not the mother I want my kids to remember.

This is not the life I promised myself.

Image: Supplied.

I looked at the glass in my hand and felt more tired than ever — not physically, but soul-deep tired. Exhausted from the cycle. Exhausted from hiding it.

Exhausted from pretending I had control.

That was the beginning of the end.

Not an overnight miracle.

Not a perfect straight line.

But a quiet decision:

This stops here. I deserve better. My family deserves better.

What changed when I finally stopped drinking.

It wasn't instant, but it was profound. In April, three months later, I knew I was done.

Within weeks of quitting:

• My anxiety softened.

• My sleep became deeper and more reliable.

• The morning dread disappeared.

• My patience grew.

• My energy finally felt like mine again.

And the presence - the real, grounded, emotional presence - returned.

Christmas morning the next year?

I actually saw my children again — not through a fog, not through regret, not through aching eyes wishing the day away — but with clarity and joy.

If this story feels familiar… you're not alone.

Maybe you're reading this because you've had your own moment.

Your own "What am I doing?" whisper.

Your own Christmas morning that felt more like a hangover than a holiday.

If so, please hear this in the gentlest way:

You don't have to wait for rock bottom.

You don't have to wait until things get worse.

You don't have to keep white-knuckling through December, through motherhood, through life.

There is another way — calmer, clearer, healthier, and so much more you.

If this resonates I would LOVE to welcome you into my free Facebook community of thousands of women from all over the world looking to live their best life and change their drinking habits. You can join it HERE.

And if you want support to take that next step, you can explore my 30-day alcohol-free programs — where evidence-based tools, neuroscience, and real community meet. They are for women only and I have supported over 10,000 women to experience all the benefits that I have — glowing skin, weight loss, less anxiety, more energy, better sleep and improved relationships.  Our next challenge starts in January, I'd love to support you. Click HERE for all the details.

Feature Image: Supplied.