In memory of Natalie Fornasier, who passed away last month, six months after finding out she was living with terminal cancer. She was an Australian writer and melanoma awareness advocate. Here, we are resharing a piece she wrote for Mamamia in 2020.
My name is Natalie. I’m 25. I’m a writer, and a Stage 4 melanoma fighter. I have no idea what I’m doing in life, and that’s a hard pill to swallow.
My days are filled with idleness and uncertainty when all I want to do is move forward and establish a new normal. I want to have a career but no one will give me a chance because of my health. I want to have a family, but I don’t know if I will be able to. I want to live until I’m 80, but who knows if I’ll see 30.
I mourn the version of myself that I thought was forever, and every day, I’m left with no choice but to dive headfirst into this ‘new person’ I’m still figuring out.
Listen to sisters Rachelle and Corinne speak candidly about why you must talk to your family about their health and cancer. Post continues after video.
I know we all can’t be promised tomorrow, and that these feelings aren’t just my own. They’re felt by all who have had their bodies turn against them. Cancer is life-changing. Truly. And that’s just putting it mildly. There’s a new normal we must learn, our feet forever walking the fine line between the ‘before’ and ‘after’.
Sure, there are elements of beauty in my new-found life. I’m more aware of just how treasured my breaths are. Every hug I’m given, I commit to memory. Every laugh I laugh is a joy. Yet, it is a life I didn’t choose for myself. I didn’t sign up for this battle willingly, and to fight a battle insinuates that if one fights hard enough, winning is an option.
