ROSIE: "It took me a really long time to find my vagina."

It took me a really long time to find my vagina.

I got my period in Year 8, and didn’t manage to successfully insert a tampon until Year 11. Every month for four long years, I would head into the bathroom, hoist my foot up on the toilet, take a deep breath and try to figure out how to plug my flow.

I was at a total loss. As far as tampons were concerned, I was closed for business. I became convinced that I had some kind of deformity. Whatever the vaginal equivalent of webbed toes is – that’s what I thought I had. Or possibly no hole at all; just a smooth patch of skin between my legs, like Barbie.

And that was part of the problem – I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS MORE THAN ONE HOLE IN THE FRONT! Of course I was confused about what the hell went where; I thought the pee hole was the sex hole was the tampon hole was the only hole. I thought the back had a hole and the front had a hole and that was it, thank you very much.

Who knows how many times I tried to put a tampon up my urethra and not my vagina? My 14-year-old body probably closed up shop out of necessity so I wouldn’t hurt myself while I grimaced over the toilet with a hand mirror and my second box of Libras.

And apparently, I was not alone. I’m 28 now, and a study released this week by women’s health charity The Eve Appeal revealed that only half of the women aged 26 – 35 are able to correctly identify the vagina on a diagram of the female reproductive system. Only half!

That means about half the girls in my age-group probably also tried to shove a tampon into their pee hole at some point.

But the difference between me and those women is, I figured it out eventually. I’m not sure how, but at some point in Year 11, I found my vagina and stuck a tampon in there. And it was only when I saw that I could still pee with a tampon in that I realised the pee hole and the tampon hole WERE DIFFERENT HOLES.

Men attempt to explain tampons. Post continues below…

Then, when I became sexually active, I went on to learn words like ‘urethra’ and ‘vulva’ and ‘cervix’ and how they actually applied to me and not just some abstract picture that I vandalised in a PDHPE textbook.

So today, I could look at a diagram like this and tell you what’s what:

I took the time to figure out my business. I may have spent four years crying in the bathroom with a tampon in my hand, but I got there eventually. I’d say by about 18 I was pretty confident with my reproductive system and it’s sexual and/or otherwise functions.

So how are there still so many women in their 20s and 30s who don’t know what’s going on down there?

A cautious teen confused by tampons and difficult openings I understand. But once a lady reaches a certain age, she needs to jump on Google and read about her machinery. Or ask her doctor/mum/friendly-looking person on the bus. Or at least bring up the reverse camera on your phone and take a good look around.

We cannot seriously be living in a society women know the location of a good bikini-waxer before they know the location of their own vagina.

That is upsetting.

So grab your phone, jump on Google and get to work.

Did you ever struggle to insert a tampon?

Missed one of Rosie’s famous Bachie recaps? Catch up here.

Episode 8

Episode 7

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Episode 5

Episode 4

Episode 3

Episode 2

Episode 1

You should follow Rosie Waterland on Facebook right here. Also, she’s written her first book (which she thinks is quite humorous) and it’s coming out soon. Pre-order it by clicking RIGHT HERE.