'Four months after giving birth, I went for a routine postpartum check. Then I received a call.'

February 2023 – I was knee-deep in nappies and spit up with my four-month-old daughter. I was desperately trying to balance the needs of my newborn baby with the demands of raising a two-year-old toddler. The nights were long and the days wild. 

I'd had a routine colonoscopy a month earlier due to some symptoms relating to childbirth (thanks, girls). When I was in the theatre room, the doctors had been lovely – it was clear they thought nothing of my symptoms. Despite being referred by my GP for the procedure, multiple doctors asked me if I was there to "ease my mind?". 

I said I was and thought my symptoms just came with postpartum territory. I had my procedure on a Monday and the week passed by without me giving the results a second thought.

That all changed with a phone call from my gastroenterologist on a Sunday afternoon. 

"I'm sorry, we found a neuroendocrine tumour," they said. 

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I am an occupational therapist and have worked in a hospital for my entire career, yet had never heard this term before. Words such as "rare" and "shocked" crossed the lips of my specialist. 

I was told to make an appointment with my GP to discuss a treatment plan and stay off Google. I only took one piece of her advice. 

I started looking for answers as to how this could have happened. Bad luck was the only answer I could find. I felt like my entire world had been turned upside down and all I could do was look at my girls and weep. 

My GP and specialist developed a robust plan to tackle my tumour. First, I needed to have a full body scan to assess whether it had spread to any other part of my body. 

It was a week-long wait for my scan, which felt like an eternity. I couldn’t eat or sleep and was actually grateful when my newborn woke for a feed so I would have some company. 

Eventually, the day came for my scan and I sat alone in a room while they injected me with a radioactive isotope to prepare me for the scanner. I'd never felt so alone. I felt fear in my bones and spent the entire hour in the chair looking at pictures of my girls.

Thankfully, I received a call from my specialist the next day to tell me that the tumour was primary and had not spread. She was a mother to two young children herself and knew the anguish and fear I was facing, so called me the minute my results came through. Her promptness was not something I have experienced from other male doctors during this time.

I phoned my mum and told her the news that my scan was clear. She let out a scream of relief – something I only understand and feel viscerally as a mother.  

I was booked for surgery to remove the tumour and faced further weeks of waiting. 

Waiting is something I have grown accustomed to during this experience and is one of the worst parts of facing tumours or cancer. The waiting seems endless.

Waiting for the next scan; waiting for surgery; waiting for results; waiting for treatment...

You're faced with your own mortality in such a brutal way but then asked to sit with it while the weeks trickle away. 

Throughout this journey, I attempted to continue to breastfeed my newborn. She had been incredibly difficult to breastfeed from the start but I persevered. 

I so desperately wanted be able to give her something and feel some sense of normality even though what we were experiencing was anything but. Every doctor and nurse I came into contact supported my decision and never once questioned me.

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My tumour has now been removed and my surgeon has told me I'm in the best position I could possibly be in. 

He joked: "If this tumour returns I will run naked through the streets of Perth." I think it's very unlikely I will have to do that. 

I'm now able to look at my girls without crying and can dream of a future with them and I in it. My darkest thoughts are now seeing light with a therapist and I can’t recommend that highly enough for anyone in my position, if it's accessible and affordable to you.

Being faced with your own mortality in such a brutal way at 30 with two young children is not something I would recommend. However, it has given me a new perspective on life. 

I now know for a fact that our tomorrow is not guaranteed. I now get to live a very full life each day with my husband and two children for as long as I am gifted. 

Featured Image: Supplied.

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