'Forget Myers-Briggs, I can tell your workplace personality type in one Pilates class.'

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For anyone who hasn't had the pleasure of a half-day 'team building' exercise in the corporate hellscape, I mean, workplace, personality tests like Myers-Briggs, Enneagram or Big Five are used to evaluate an individual's personality attributes to gain insights into their working styles.

I think I was an INTJ, which stood for introverted, something, something, something else. Essentially, just don't be offended when I don't want to make small talk in the communal kitchen. Whether these tests actually hold any merit from a productivity or workplace culture perspective is controversial. Which is why I'd like to suggest an alternative. Because I've discovered I have a special skill, and that is being able to completely work out someone's personality from one 45-minute Pilates class.

Watch Wade Kingsley discussing workplace types on BIZ, Mamamia's business podcast. Post continues below.

It started when I noticed a particular guy who was regularly not following the teacher's instructions during a hot mat class.

She'd say we needed light weights and he'd get the heaviest ones possible.

She'd say to do a move slowly, and he'd fling his body around as fast as possible, adding a few random shoulder presses.

This is the guy who always thinks he knows better. This is the guy who talks over people in meetings despite having zero qualifications. We all know this guy. I don't need a Myers-Briggs test to tell me what it's like to work with this guy. I had his measure in the first three point five minutes of class. God grant me the confidence of a middle-aged dude with a dad bod who thinks he knows better than a trained Pilates instructor.

Next up is the kind of Pilates student that just needs you to know how hard they are working. The Grunter.

Sure, everyone else is focused and quiet and doing the exact same moves. But this person is huffing and puffing and moaning and needs you to know they're working much harder than you are.

If you've worked in an open-plan environment, this is the person whose whole demeanour changes the second anyone senior walks past. Some people are head down, bum up, get sh*t done people. And some people spend more time telling you how hard they're working than actually working. Again, two minutes into class, and I can tell your working style instantly. It's loud. And ineffective. And we will not get on.

Which brings me to another Pilates personality type. The Judge.

I know this personality well, because this is me. On the Pilates mat, this means that if the teacher tells you to put your right foot in front for a ninety-degree lunge, and you put your left foot out, I cannot help but roll my eyes. (But if I get my rights and lefts confused, obviously the instructions were bad, and not that I wasn't concentrating.)

On a work Zoom call, this means that when the egotistical mansplainer in Example One opens his mouth to pretend he knows what he's talking about, my mic might be off, but the disdain through my camera is LOUD. My resting bitch face works harder than my core in plank pose. This personality type is also a micromanager, because obviously it's easier to just do something than delegate. Cue burn-out and resenting everyone for not pulling their weight even though I explicitly told them not to. I am obviously a delight to work with. And live with. 

Then there is The Helper.

This is the guy that, when it's time to clear our mats at the end of class, will grab anyone's weights nearby and put them away. They do it sight unseen, not for thanks or praise, but just because it makes sense to them. This is the guy you want on your team. Does what needs to be done for the benefit of everyone involved and isn't driven by the need for congratulatory pats on the back or ego.

Listen to this episode of Mamamia Out Loud, where women come to debrief. Post continues below.

This is the opposite of The Grunter. I still remember when I was a first-year lawyer there was a Senior Associate, let's call him Ivan (because his name was Ivan). Every client meeting, no matter how junior or senior the other lawyers were in the room, he was always the one to pour everyone a glass of water and clean up at the end of the meeting.

As a mentor, he was patient and generous with his time. I never did Pilates with him, but he would 100 per cent put my weights away after class.

Can I somehow capitalise on this Pilates/work personality testing module? Probably not.

Will I continue to silently judge you in class and in the workplace? Absolutely. 

Feature image: Canva.