The ripple effect of mental illness no one warned us about, and what actually helps.

Thanks to our brand partner, Medibank

When someone in your family is experiencing mental health challenges, the focus might naturally shift to them if they need more support. But what about everyone else in the household? The siblings, parents or children who are also navigating this journey?

According to Medibank Group Medical Director Dr Shona Sundaraj, the impact of mental illness extends far beyond the person experiencing it, creating ripple effects that touch every family member in complex ways.

"Quite often we underestimate the value that our sibling relationships bring to our development and our paths in life," Dr Sundaraj said. "We quite often say that everything is down to the parents when really sibling relationships have so much to do with where we find ourselves as adults."

Yet these broader impacts are often not discussed openly. As Dr Sundaraj noted, talking about emotions can be "taboo" and communication is a "learned skill", which may explain why some families struggle to acknowledge and address these ripple effects.

Tools like Medibank's Family Roast card game can be a valuable resource. Designed to encourage honest conversations, the game provides a structured way to get families connecting and talking. These conversations offer families a framework and a way forward to support everyone's emotional needs.

Watch: Vicki & Chloe: I Never Told You This. Post continues after video.

The unseen emotional toll.

Dr Sundaraj explained that when one sibling is experiencing mental health challenges, other family members can experience "a raft of emotions".

"They could feel quite helpless, like they just don't have any power to control what's going on. They feel guilt, they might feel sadness, they might feel sympathy as opposed to empathy," she said.

"They might not understand how the relationship dynamic is supposed to work. They might alternatively feel like they need to care for that person."

The challenge, she explained, is understanding "what does that care look like" and recognising that the impact "really depends on what that relationship is between the two siblings and their parents before that diagnosis is given".

Dr Sundaraj identified guilt as one of the most significant invisible impacts on siblings, as people might struggle with knowing their siblings are undergoing something they can't necessarily help with.

"It's bearing a load that they can't necessarily deal with because they don't have ownership of the problem," she said.

"So if they don't have ownership of the problem, they don't have agency to control the situation or to do the therapy or to do the things that the other sibling needs."

The response varies depending on the individual, Dr Sundaraj noted. Some siblings might be able to "lead by example" or "open up an emotional conversation", while others focus on being present and trying to "just take some of that load away".

Dr Sundaraj acknowledged a significant challenge that parents face when one child has mental health needs: the risk of overlooking other family members.

"That's huge. And it's unfortunate because they know that their one child needs as much energy, effort and attention as they can possibly give them," she said.

She explained that while parents want to give equal attention to all their children, "sometimes that's just not possible".

But parents don't have to bear the brunt of this alone.

Dr Sundaraj encouraged parents to rely on their support network — including partners, extended family members like grandparents, uncles and aunties, and the wider community.

She also recommended keeping schools informed, noting that other siblings "may start to demonstrate certain behaviours because there is a lack of or less attention on them".

Supporting everyone while protecting yourself.

Dr Sundaraj's advice for supporting a loved one with mental health challenges while maintaining your own wellbeing centres on a familiar principle: "We always say to put on your own life vest first."

"If you don't have the resources emotionally, socially, if you don't have the physical health or the other things that you need to keep yourself going, then you can't pour from an empty jug," she said.

Dr Sundaraj acknowledged that this is "easy to say, it's more difficult to do", particularly for parents who are also carers.

But she made one thing clear: "It's okay to not be 100 per cent perfect at all things all the time."

Her advice? Remember to take moments for yourself.

"Go for that 20-minute walk, have that 10-minute meditation. Eat or finish that cup of tea while it's still warm as well, just to fill your own cup."

She also stressed the importance of seeking professional support.

"Taking the hour out to be able to talk to your GP or counsellor or psychologist is also very important," she said.

Creating space for everyone.

Dr Sundaraj emphasised that "different children in a family unit are going to respond differently" to mental health challenges, so it's important to make space for each family member.

"Creating space for each of them and holding that space so that they can come and talk to you when they need to, or intentionally creating one-on-one moments where you're enabling them to open up should they wish to," she said.

This means going beyond everyday family routines to conversations that aren't just about logistics, "but actually starting to talk a little bit deeper about funny things or about emotions or what's going on in their head or what are their dreams".

The key, according to Dr Sundaraj, is "intentionally creating and holding that space for them to come and talk to you as individuals".

Get the conversation started with Medibank's Family Roast game — available to play online.

This information is general in nature and does not replace the advice of a healthcare professional. As with any medical condition, always seek health advice from a qualified healthcare professional.

If you or anyone you know needs to speak with an expert, please contact your GP or in Australia, contact Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636), all of which provide trained counsellors you can talk with 24/7.

To the extent permitted by law, MPL excludes all liability for any loss that may be sustained from acting on this information (subject to applicable consumer guarantees).

Feature Image: Getty.

Medibank is committed to improving the mental health of all Australians. Visit medibank.com.au/mental-health for information, support options and tips to have more meaningful mental health conversations.