DIARY OF A BIRTH: 'A "rare occurrence" when I was giving birth led to the most intense labour pain.'

Ksenija Lukich didn't have a birth plan for her first child. She was willing to relinquish control, to allow the delivery to unfold however it may. But there was one thing she knew she wanted: an epidural.

Sharing her story as the host of Mamamia's Diary Of A Birth podcast, the journalist/presenter recounted the relief she felt when, after 12 hours of contractions and only 2cm dilation, an anaesthetist administered the pain-blocking drugs into her back. And then the panic she felt when, another 18 hours later — while on the cusp of the final, most painful phase of labour — those drugs suddenly stopped working.

Listen to Ksenija's story on Mamamia's Diary Of A Birth. Post continues below.

Diary Of A Birth features mums telling their miraculous stories of bringing life into the world. This is just part of Ksenija's…

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Ksenija Lukich's birth story.

It was around 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning when Ksenija's waters broke. The contractions followed soon after.

"For about four hours at home, I was contracting, and I was doing all the things that they told me in my birth classes," she said. "I put the lights down low, I put relaxing music on. I was walking around. I was trying to be very mindful. But by about midday, I was feeling like I needed some help."

Ksenija's husband, Dan Bragg, drove her to the hospital as the pain intensified. There, she laboured for another five hours, using 'gas and air' (a combination of oxygen and nitrous oxide, also known as laughing gas) to take the edge off her contractions.

Ksenija with her husband, Dan, at the hospital. Image: Supplied.

She hoped to reach a 5cm dilation — the midway point — before calling for her epidural, but when the midwife checked her, she had only reached two. Tired and depleted from 12 hours of pain, Ksenija broke down in tears.

"I felt so defeated, and I felt like such a failure," she said. "I was like, [some] women get to eight centimetres, and they don't even know, and I'm at two, and I'm in this much pain… I was like, I suck at this.

"I said to myself, that's it, I'm getting the epidural. I can't do this anymore."

An epidural is a common pain-relief procedure used during labour and some surgeries. It's performed by an anaesthetist who inserts a small catheter into the epidural space surrounding the spinal nerves. This is done so that anaesthetic drugs can be administered to a particular point along the spine, temporarily numbing a certain region of the body — in the case of labour, the abdomen. The ideal result is that the woman feels a sense of pressure instead of pain when contracting and pushing.

There are possible complications including low blood pressure and headaches, along with serious risks including infection and nerve damage. But these are incredibly rare. These days, an epidural is considered a very safe procedure. And it's a popular one. Data from 2022, shows that 40 per cent of Australians who laboured that year underwent an epidural.

Unfortunately, Ksenija's didn't go as smoothly as she hoped. 

As well as the epidural, she was administered the drug oxytocin to help her labour progress. Some hours later, when she was 8cm dilated, the numbness of the epidural started to ebb. Intense pain began to build and build.

"They gave me a button to press for the epidural, which gives you more of the drugs. I'm pressing the button (it only lets you do it in intervals), and I was like, why isn't this working? What is going on? Pressing the button, pressing the button. I was like, something's happening here, because I'm feeling a lot more pain," she said.

When the midwife investigated the epidural catheter, she found it had become disconnected from the infusion mechanism — a rare occurrence. The drugs that should have been going into Ksenija's back had instead been leaking all over the bed.

"The nurse looks at me and says, 'Oh, this has never happened to me before? I don't really know what to do in this situation,'" Ksenija said.

Ksenija went from being pain-free to the deep end of labour in a matter of minutes. It was a shock to the body and the mind.

"I'm in so much pain, I'm grabbing onto my husband. I'm panicking at this point. I'm really freaked out," she said.

Fortunately, the anaesthetist was able to safely reconnect the epidural. And by then, more than 30 hours after her contractions began, Ksenija was ready to deliver.

"My obstetrician came in," Ksenija said, "and she's like, 'I can see how tired you are. You can try pushing for a while, and we can see if we can get this baby out. That might take an hour or two. Or I can get the forceps, and we can get this baby out in the next two contractions.' And I said, 'Get the forceps.'"

Ksenija knew that forceps came with a risk of injury to the mother and baby, and she knew it was a last resort. But she was willing. About five minutes later, her daughter, Mimi, was delivered onto her chest.

"Mimi came out perfectly healthy. [There was a] tiny little bruise on her head, but she was okay," she said.

"The first thing I said when she came out was — and this is where I'm going to get emotional — 'I've been waiting so long for you.'"

Ksenija welcomed her firstborn, Mimi. Image: Supplied.

The waiting was not just the 30-plus hours of labour or the nine long months of pregnancy, but also two years of trying to conceive and one round of IVF.

That is why Ksenija still considers her birth story to be a truly positive one.

"I know maybe it doesn't sound like it was the most positive experience," she said. "But I walk away from that and I go, you know what? It was okay. Yes, I had the epidural come out. And yes, [labour] was really long. But my pain was managed. I had a good support system. The baby came out. Mimi came out, beautiful and healthy. I was okay."

Read more of our featured stories in Diary Of A Birth:

• DIARY OF A BIRTH: 'I didn't realise I was pregnant until I gave birth in the shower.'

• DIARY OF A BIRTH: 'I struggled to fall pregnant. I had a breakdown when I found out I was having quadruplets.'

• DIARY OF A BIRTH: 'I thought I'd have a fast birth. Then my baby got stuck.'

Feature image: Supplied.