I’m one of those people who has always been anxious about my health.
The first time I used a tampon at 14, I convinced myself I had toxic shock syndrome and was slowly dying. There was no cure (there definitely is a cure) and a painful, brutal death was simply inevitable. It was all very sad and as much as I wanted to tell my family, I just couldn’t bear the pain they would feel at losing their daughter to a tampon.
When I eventually broke the news to my mum, she laughed at me and told me that a vague headache and an upset tummy probably weren’t symptoms of a rare disease, and were far more likely to be related to the anxiety I was experiencing about my imminent death.
At first I was annoyed by her rudeness, but it didn’t take long for me to feel better.
Now, as a woman in her mid-twenties who wants to one day have children, my anxiety has attached itself to the idea of having fertility issues.
Deep down, I believe I have endometriosis or polycystic ovarian syndrome (despite not having symptoms of either) or some other undiagnosed problem with my ovaries, and I’ve always had a feeling that when I try to have kids, I won’t be able to.
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This is compounded by the fact that I’ve been very irresponsible with the pill for 12 years and have never accidentally fallen pregnant. This can only mean one thing, and we all know what it is.