There’s a theory the women of the Mamamia office have embraced in recent months:the idea that women are either poodles, or they are wolves.
Coined by comedian Jessi Klein, the premise is simple. Angelina Jolie, Keira Knightley and Charlize Theron? Poodles. Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston and Tina Fey? Wolves.
We all have some poodles in our lives. They’re effortlessly graceful, always wear matching bras and underwear, and are generally always late.
Angelina Jolie: verified poodle. Image via Getty.
On the flip side of the poodle/wolf coin, last week I plucked a giant black hair from a mole on my cheek, I hate g-strings with a burning passion, and am always early (read: polite). This is certified wolf territory. I tick all the boxes.
But last week in the office, we uncovered a new frontier in the poodle versus wolf debate. A colleague raised a seemingly innocuous question to the team: how often do you wash your socks?
The poodles and even some of the wolves were quick to turn their noses up immediately. For them, the answer was simple: you wash your socks after every single use.
Some of us (me, it was me) thought there were more shades of grey in the great sock washing debate.
What if you were just chucking some socks on while sitting on the couch for an hour to warm your feet up?
Holly Wainwright, Mia Freedman and Jessie Stephens talked about the divisive subject on Mamamia Out Loud this week. Post continues below...
What if you put them on so you could whack your sneakers on and quickly take the bins out? Surely your feet had spent so few minutes within the socks that it warranted them a second use?
The poodles, of course, were convinced that the moment your foot touches your sock, the garments are suddenly so spoiled that only OMO and a quick cycle can fix them.
Then I made the most fatal of errors: I raised the topic of how often I wash (or, you know, DON'T WASH) my bra.
Now, look — I would like to qualify this by saying sports bras are an obvious exception to the rule and if it is a particularly sweaty day, I will chuck my beloved Berlei in the washing basket the moment I release my breasts from their fabric prison.
But for a normal 'go to work and head home for a bit of Netflix' day, well, I just don't think that kind of activity warrants a wash. So when you do the math, it turns out I'm washing my bras (I have one favourite and I hate to see her sidelined) approximately once a month.
Nobody has time for this. NOBODY. Image via iStock.
I see you, poodles, silently judging me and thrashing out an impassioned response on your keyboard. And look, most people will agree with you. It turns out you probably need to wash your bra after a few wears (read: significantly more frequently than once a month).
But you know what? I've decided bras are the new jeans. And wash my favourite bra, I will not. I don't want my bra sidelined when it could be helping keep my breasts upright as they start to make their eventual decline.
I get it. Some of you — hey, maybe you have a bit too much time on your hands, I don't know your life — may like to wash your bra daily. Maybe you're also one of those crazy people who only uses their bath towels once. I don't know. Maybe you don't even eat the odd Malteaser off the floor.
But for all of you sitting smugly in your crisp, freshly-washed bras, I have just one thing to ask you: how often do you wash your scarf?
