Right now I am sitting on a flight to Los Angeles and I am not at all nervous. Not a bit. In fact I’m really relaxed. I have the sounds of Angus and Julia Stone playing in my ears, I have my son and my husband at my side and I have the words of Rebecca Sparrow in my head.
All my life I have been a bit scared and although I have had my fair share of therapy (and probably your fair share too) nothing has really stuck. The way that I have dealt with my anxiety is to prepare for the worst.
When I wrote exams I prepared myself for failure, I imagined how I would deal with failing, how I would break it to my family and what I would do the following year. I imagined that if I dealt with it in my head first it would be easier to deal with if and when it happened. It never did.
When I lost something I told myself I would never find it – that way I was prepared if I never did.
When somebody told me that they loved me I never believed them. Still find it very hard.
When I flew I prepared myself to be hijacked. I anticipated the crash and I consoled myself that at least I would now what to do and how to handle it because I had lived the situation so many times in my head
So how come I am so relaxed on this epic flight to LA? How come after I have read The Secret and been to therapy and devoured self help books and hypnosis and huge amounts of medication I am feeling at ease now?
I think Rebecca Sparrow can take the credit. Her genius words, her nurturing manner and the beautiful way she dispenses her wisdom.