'I didn't want to tell my wife.' The conversation Fiona Falkiner needed to have.

Nine days after meeting her future wife, Fiona Falkiner told Hayley Willis that she loved her. 

"She is my person," Fiona previously told Mamamia on HER with Sophie Cachia. "Being able to be so open, honest and raw with a woman [is special]."

But there was one topic that the Aussie model, TV presenter and mum of two recently admitted that she couldn't talk about openly and honestly with Hayley. Fiona had felt so ashamed, she suffered silently for two years after the birth of her son, Hunter.

"When I had my son – that’s when I started experiencing bladder leakage," Fiona says.

"I really didn't know a lot about bladder leakage before I started suffering from it. It's something I just imagined people in my mother's age group would be suffering, but then when I think about it, [my mum] would have been my age when it started for her, so 40."

Watch a Pilates instructor explain the pelvic floor. Post continues below.

Even though one in three women (and four in five Aussie mums) experience bladder leakage, a new survey commissioned by Poise shows that 52 per cent don't realise how common it is, while 54 per cent don't speak about it because it's considered such a taboo topic.

So taboo that Fiona felt like she couldn’t speak to her wife about it – even though it's common and treatable. It didn't need to be the big secret that would impact her daily.

"I didn't know how the symptoms would impact my everyday life. I didn't know what to do to treat the symptoms.

"It's something that I was really ashamed about. I felt like my body was letting me down and I didn't talk to anyone about it. I was really just suffering in silence. I didn't even talk to my wife about it. I thought to myself, if I just avoid things that trigger it, it'll just go away on its own.

"So I stopped doing so many things that I enjoyed doing, like certain exercises, jumping on the trampoline with my son, you know, things that I should be enjoying."

It’s a familiar story for physiotherapist Caitlin Dunsford, who treats women in their 20s through to their 90s for bladder leakage.  

"There are so many risk factors that can lead to the experience of bladder leaks. The most obvious life events are going to be things like menopause, childbirth, pregnancy," explains Caitlin. 

"But the less obvious risk factors are things like constipation, weight gain, high-intensity exercise, chronic coughing, and some medications. And these things are common occurrences that can happen to anybody at any age."

Once Fiona realised how common it was, and started opening up, she was surprised by what she learnt. 

"When I was around groups of friends, I started to kind of talk about it and I was shocked: so many of my friends suffer from bladder leakage. And friends that haven't even had children yet," Fiona says.

"I've got a friend who, every time she sneezes, she pees her pants. And she thinks it's hilarious! But it's one of those things I would never have brought up."

The issue, says Caitlin, is that because we don’t talk about it, many women then don’t do anything about it.

"Maybe [it’s because of] shame, maybe money, maybe access, maybe just time. Life's busy, right? You have kids, you put yourself right at the bottom. And so then this symptom that was common and can be treated becomes a limiting belief. 

"It becomes part of an identity. Women will start to say things like, 'I don't jump on the trampoline.' They’ll tell a personal trainer, 'Oh, I can't do star jumps.' You know, they’ll stop saying yes to that wine with her girlfriends, because they know when they drink a glass of wine, their bladder urgency gets triggered and they’ll be rushing to and from the toilet.

"So now over time, this has completely changed a woman’s quality of life. But it's crept up on her. She hasn't really realised."

The reason Caitlin is so fired up about this is because there’s a solution that works for many women that requires only five to seven minutes a day. 

"Pelvic floor muscle training, when done supervised by a physiotherapist, and done in a graded and progressive way for 12 weeks, has been shown to cure or improve the symptoms of stress and mixed urinary incontinence in more than 75 per cent of women," says Caitlin, who leads a free online pelvic floor program via the Poise Pelvic Floor Support Hub.

“That's why I'm passionate about it. Because that's something that has that efficacy – if this was a drug, oh my gosh, imagine how much money people would throw at this and the advertising that it would get it! Pelvic floor exercises don't get the rap that they deserve.”

Listen to Fiona Falkiner on HER with Sophie Cachia. Post continues below.

This new knowledge has impacted Fiona too, who has joined the Poise Pledge campaign to break the silence around bladder leakage.

“[For the past two years] I had the mentality of ‘I'm just gonna leave it and not deal with it. And I might have another baby at some point, so I'll deal with it after that one. What's the point now?’

“But for me, if I can help any other women out there feel less alone, less like they have to suffer in silence, and feel ashamed of their bodies, then it just makes me feel like it's so worth it.

“So, being a part of this campaign is super important, starting the conversation and realising that there are things you can do to make the symptoms better.”

Featured image: Instagram @fionafalkiner + Supplied.

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