'Dating someone new is undeniably magical. But I'm quietly wrestling with when to tell them.'

There's something undeniably magical about dating someone new.

The anticipation before a date… the spark when you realise you share the same sense of humour… the way your heart lifts when their name lights up your phone.

Early dating is electric — it's the joy, the butterflies, the "anything could happen" energy that makes you want to bottle the feeling forever. 

And then, quietly sitting underneath all that excitement, is the question so many of us with chronic conditions wrestle with: "When do I tell them?" 

It's the conversation you dread. While enjoying the fun and laughter, a bigger moment lingers—the one when you share something personal and vulnerable that could change how they see you. 

And honestly? That can be terrifying. 

When you're still getting to know someone, it's hard to imagine bringing up something so intimate. You worry about ruining the vibe, scaring them off, or adding seriousness to something beautifully simple. You're figuring out if they're trustworthy, mature, and ready for your real world — not just the highlight reel. 

From my own experience living with a chronic condition, I've learned there is no perfect moment. No golden rule. You just need to listen to your gut and dive in.

Watch: The health warning signs you shouldn't ignore. Post continues after video.

People have often responded with more understanding and compassion than I expected—though maybe that was from their own naivety.

The real challenge, I learned, comes later: when you're in a committed relationship and begin to see not just how your condition affects you, but how it impacts your partner and shared life. 

So instead of searching for the "right time," pay attention to the moment you start feeling comfortable. When things shift from "We're having fun" to "I'm beginning to trust you," that's usually when the right moment finds you. 

Yes, your fear is real. You wonder: What if this pushes them away? What if it's too hard? Here's what I've learned: 

If someone is scared off by your reality, they're not someone who deserves a future in your life. 

They're not worth your time, your heart, or your energy. And they're definitely not worth the emotional labour you've already put into learning how to live with your condition. 

The right person won't see you as "too much." 

They'll see you—truly. They'll want to understand you, not shy away from your complexity and strength. 

Sometimes, sharing sooner protects you. It keeps you from investing in someone lacking empathy, patience, or depth. That's a blessing in disguise.

Or it just makes things easier, such as when your condition affects your energy, plans, or presence. Clarifying isn't a burden; it's helpful. 

When you open up, it's more than a conversation—it's a small act of bravery that says, "Here I am. All of me." 

And while not everyone will rise to meet that honesty, the right person absolutely will. They'll hold your story with kindness. They'll listen, not judge. They'll stay, not shrink. And in that moment, you'll realise that being loved for who you truly are, all of you, is not just possible, it's what you've always deserved. 

Let your honesty filter out those not meant to stay, and make space for the one who chooses you every time. 

To help unpack the emotional side — the timing, the communication, the fears, and the "how do I actually say this?" — I spoke with clinical psychologist Dr Daniel Brown (FCCLP, MAPS). His insights are warm, practical, and genuinely reassuring.

Below, you'll find a Q&A designed to guide you through this moment with confidence, self-compassion, and the reminder that you deserve someone who chooses you — all of you. 

When is the right time to tell someone you're dating that you have a chronic medical condition? 

This is a great but complex question because it is unlikely there is ever going to be a "right" time.

It depends on a few factors, including the impact the condition will have on your dating life, its likely effect on the relationship, and your own values and beliefs. 

For example, if you experience chronic pain, it may be reasonable to be open about it sooner to avoid surprises on active dates.

For other conditions, it may have little bearing on the relationship, so timing is less critical. Ultimately, nobody has a "right" to your personal health information, but if it will affect the relationship, disclosing sooner can prevent complications or hurt feelings later. 

What's the best way to communicate this clearly and honestly, without overwhelming the other person? 

There are no "fool-proof" ways, but creating an approachable, relaxed environment helps. For example, sitting on the couch together in the afternoon can invite a natural conversation. 

Start by explaining why you're sharing now: "I'm enjoying the time we're spending together, and I want you to continue to know more about me." 

Then, share any worries you have: 

"I'm a little nervous about telling you this because people often judge, but I really want you to know this about me."

Next, explain your condition in simple, everyday language, including how it impacts you. Finally, invite questions and let them know it's okay to take time to process. 

And most importantly, don't minimise your own feelings — ask for support if you need it. How can someone cope with rejection if their condition becomes a deterrent? 

It's normal to feel frustrated, sad, or even angry. But it's important to remember: if someone cannot accept you because of your health, that reflects their values — not your worth.

Feeling disappointed is valid, but so is compassion for yourself. You are the one living with your condition, and you deserve someone who chooses you fully, without hesitation. 

Do you have any advice for educating a partner or navigating a chronic condition together? 

When a condition affects a relationship, it's important to frame it as a "couples' issue," even if it lives in one person's body. Discuss how you want to tackle challenges together and make shared decisions. 

For newer conditions or relationships, learning together can be powerful: attend appointments (where relevant), problem-solve as a team, and develop a mindset of "we're in this together" rather than "the person is the problem."

Over time, your partner will understand the condition better, and you both get to define their role in supporting or managing it.

Feature Image: Supplied.