'The work Christmas party was the highlight of my calendar. Until I was the person who took it too far.'

It is that time of year again.

The Christmas trees go up on the first of December, carols start sneaking down the supermarket aisles, and the sentence "let's catch up before Christmas" becomes the automatic sign-off to every conversation.

Office fridges fill with leftover shortbread, someone always walks around wearing a festive headband, and invitations to parties pile up quicker than you can say Secret Santa.

For years, the corporate Christmas party was the highlight of my calendar. It was the one night where the rules loosened and suddenly everyone became best friends after two drinks. It was a chance to let my hair down, cheers with a spicy marg or ten, and dance with colleagues I normally gave a polite corridor nod to. It was messy and chaotic and glittery and, if I am honest, it was the one time of year I could drink the way I wanted to without causing too many side glances.

There's always that one person who takes it too far. The one who ends up snot-crying in the corner at midnight, pouring out their life story, mascara streaking down their cheeks, while everyone else wonders how to gently usher them into a taxi. Once upon a time, that person was me.

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Here's the thing. Sobriety is no longer just for people who have a complicated relationship with alcohol. More and more Aussies are sober curious.

There's a whole movement of people choosing nights out without drinking simply because they want to feel better. They want to sleep better, train better, think more clearly, and wake up without regret. Gen Z in particular are embracing alcohol-free living in a way that would have shocked my millennial twenty-year-old self.

This shift is reflected in our everyday culture. Alcohol-free alternatives now take up whole shelves at the bottle shop. Bars have non-alc cocktail lists as long as the alcoholic ones. Even Christmas parties are starting to offer decent options that are not just warm orange juice and flat lemonade.

But for some of us, the decision not to drink comes from a deeper place. When I got sober in 2020, it was not a lifestyle experiment. It was a necessity. I had a serious problem with alcohol and trying to attend a Christmas party sober felt impossible. You might as well have asked me to grow wings and learn how to fly. I could not imagine how to socialise without a drink. I could not imagine who I would be without it.

Read more: Ashleigh was living her 'dream' life. She was also drinking most days to black out.

Fast forward to today and somehow, I am entering my sixth sober Christmas. Six years of going to events sober. Six years of showing up for my life without a drink to take the edge off. Six years of discovering that life is not boring without alcohol. In fact, life is richer, clearer, calmer and more aligned than I could ever have imagined.

And here is the truth I wish someone had told me when I first stopped drinking. You do not survive the festive season by hiding at home or avoiding invitations. I have not stayed sober for six years by declining everything and sitting alone on my sofa feeling miserable. I've stayed sober because I learned how to socialise differently. I learned how to prepare. I learned what I needed to feel safe, grounded and comfortable.

Ashleigh (left) at a work Christmas party not drinking. Image: Supplied.

If you are heading into your work Christmas party alcohol free, whether that's for health reasons, personal reasons or simply because you want to feel good the next day, here are five simple strategies that have helped me not just survive but actually enjoy Christmas events completely sober.

How to enjoy a work Christmas party sober.

Drive your own car.

Driving yourself is one of the best sober strategies you will ever use. First, it removes the decision entirely because you cannot drink if you have to drive home. You take the mental tug of war off the table.

Second, it gives you an immediate exit plan. If the environment gets messy or you start to feel triggered, you can leave whenever you want. No waiting around for colleagues who have decided that another round of shots is an excellent idea.

A quick note of caution. Being the designated driver is lovely, but it can also trap you at an event longer than you want to be. Offer to drive people in if you want to, but be very clear that you will leave early. Protect your energy and your boundaries.

Have a game plan and stick to it.

Decide how long you're staying before you even step foot into the venue. Set an arrival time and an exit time. Social pressure is real. Excitement is real. And it's very easy to get swept up in both.

My rule is simple. Stay for the speeches and once the formalities are done, leave. Because from that point onwards, the vibe tends to shift. Drinks flow faster. Conversations get louder. And let's be real, nothing good happens after midnight anyway. 

Another tip is to have an accountability buddy. Call a friend or your partner the moment you get in the car afterward. Tell them you stayed sober.

The sense of pride that comes from that phone call is honestly addictive in the best way. It boosts your confidence, especially if you're still navigating early sobriety or feeling left out.

Eat before you go.

This one is practical but powerful. There is an acronym used in recovery called HALT, which stands for hungry, angry, lonely and tired. When you hit any of these states, you're far more vulnerable to cravings.

Eating before you arrive stabilises your blood sugar, regulates your mood and reduces that reactive feeling that can make you crave something to soothe yourself.

Most corporate Christmas parties rely on canapes for dinner and let us be honest, four miniature spring rolls and a piece of smoked salmon on a cracker never saved anyone. Eat something substantial beforehand. Nourish yourself. You will walk into the event feeling much more centred and less easily swayed.

Book a pilates class for 6am.

This tip is a game-changer. There's nothing like the sting of a "no-show fee" for your Pilates or HIIT class to keep you on track. Knowing you have somewhere to be the next morning puts you in a different mindset.

You're less likely to stay out late and far less likely to do anything that will make you suffer through a sweaty class hungover.

Even better, meet a friend there. Have a coffee booked afterwards. Create accountability on both sides of the night. And honestly, there is no better feeling than waking up clear-headed while everyone else is fighting a headache and embarrassment.

Reward yourself.

This step is essential. If you wake up the next morning having achieved your goal, celebrate yourself. Maybe even treat yourself! A facial, a new pair of shoes, brunch with friends, a long walk, whatever feels good. Mark the moment. Early sobriety, or even temporary sobriety isn't easy.

It takes effort, intention and a sprinkling of courage. Recognise that. Honour it. Celebrating the wins helps to build a positive association to not drinking which will reinforce the behaviour the next time you're faced with the challenge. 

There is something truly powerful about showing up for yourself when it would be easier not to. I've never regretted a night of not drinking, but I've lost count of the number of nights I've regretted when booze was involved. 

Ashleigh at another Christmas party sober. Image: Supplied.

Here's the bigger message. Whether you're choosing not to drink because of health reasons, recovery, pregnancy, medication, training goals or simply because you want to feel better, the sense of pride that follows a sober win is incomparable.

No amount of alcohol is worth the shame spiral of waking up the next morning trying to piece together what you said or did. But the self-esteem boost that comes from sticking to your plan lasts for days. Sometimes weeks.

What I've come to realise is that sobriety doesn't take you away from life. It brings you back to it. It allows you to be present. It lets you connect. It means you leave when you want, wake up when you want and show up the next day feeling good. 

And if Christmas is meant to be a season of joy, connection and celebration, then showing up as the clearest version of yourself might be the greatest gift you give yourself all year.

Want to read more sobriety stories? Check these next:

• 'I saved my life by getting sober 5 years ago. On my birthday, I learned what I'd also lost.'

• 'I've been sober for 5 years. Here's what I'm really thinking when you're drinking.'

• 'Alcohol-free beer tastes like beer.' 5 things I've learned from being 6 months sober.

Feature image: Supplied.