'The hardest part of my cancer battle wasn't the sickness. It was the secret I kept from my family.'

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When Daisy* felt a lump in her breast, the doctor immediately sent her for a mammogram, ultrasound, and a biopsy.

That same night, the 55-year-old went to a friend's house for dinner, who was a radiographer. He drew Daisy three separate pictures, and asked her which one most closely resembled the scan.

"The third one," she said.

His reply echoed in her head: "Yeah, that's not good."

The next day, the doctor confirmed her worst fears. She had stage three triple-negative breast cancer. 

"It was a quick, aggressive form of cancer," Daisy told Mamamia. "I was really, really, really sick."

At the time, the single mother lived with her elderly mother and a teen son. Her other son lived out of home.

Daisy felt the pressing need to protect her family from the truth.

So, she downplayed her diagnosis.

"If I had shown my true feelings, I don't think anyone would have coped," she said, adding that her mum is an "extreme worrier."

Watch: Dr. Maryam on the genetic risk of breast cancer. Post continues after video.

Daisy did her best to carry on as normal. Working full-time, cooking, cleaning, and caring for her son.

"My youngest son is 80 per cent reliant on me for his daily living. I knew the effect my illness was having on him as you could physically see him withdraw. He was already withdrawn, so this was like shutting the door to a cave with a very large boulder."

Daisy was "masking" her pain, "smiling on the outside" while her "feet were just trying to survive underneath the water.

"It's what I have always done since I was a child," she said. "It's part of my make-up to put a smile on my face, appear strong and in control."

But there were times during her aggressive chemotherapy treatment, where the mask slipped.

"They saw me crying and screaming some days. I was literally rolling around in my bed just trying to survive."

Every third week of her chemo cycle, Daisy couldn't open her eyes for three days "as the world would just spin."

"I would close my bedroom door three quarters and just hope I wasn't needed."

Daisy "masked" her pain, but during chemo the mask would slip. Image: Canva.

Around six months into treatment, Daisy suffered a "nasty effect" where she would rush to the bathroom every two hours "screaming in pain."

Afterwards, she would have to sit in a salt bath for upwards of an hour, or use ice to dull the pain.

"This was not able to be hidden from my family and I did call one of my friends in full-blown distress," she said. "This was the only time I could not help but let them see and hear my pain. It was horrible."

The hardest times were her visits to the emergency department.

"I got my mum to drop me at the entrance each time. I would walk in and state my patient number. Every time, I had tears running down my face," Daisy said.

Within five minutes, she'd be in a hospital bed all alone.

"I never wanted to be a burden to my friends and I did not want my mum sitting with me either, although she would have wanted to," she said.

"I remember hour after hour having to advocate for myself when I could hardly speak. I was so concerned about everyone else that I totally disregarded my needs."

'At the time, you are just trying to survive.'

While Daisy is thankful for the care she received in hospital, she wishes it extended into her home.

"I had so much support from the nurses when I was in there, but when I left the environment I felt really isolated."

After texting her breast care nurse, Daisy said she didn't hear back for three-and-a-half weeks.

"I think I saw my breast care nurse once in my two and a half year journey, whereas others report that they see them at chemo all the time. And others report that they've got a chemo nurse."

Because she was hiding the pain from her family, Daisy said having someone she "could have unloaded to would have helped enormously."

Looking back, the 57-year-old wishes she'd been more honest about her cancer with some of her closest friends, but not with her family. And while she is content on her own, a partner could have helped her bear the weight of the situation.

LISTEN: The truth about your cancer risk. Post continues below.

"I definitely do not dwell on my singledom," she said, but "in this instance, I dearly would have loved someone by my side."

Now, years later, Daisy has seen the type of support she could have sought. But when you're in the thick of it, it's not a simple task.

"At the time, you are just trying to survive, minute by minute some days," she said. "I did not have time. Maybe even if I accessed the counselling then, I would have had to admit to myself that I was not coping."

Dr Peter Diamond, the Chair of Cancer Council's Supportive Care Committee acknowledges that "every person's experience with cancer is unique" but it can be isolating.

"Many people who have a cancer diagnosis may downplay symptoms, emotions, or the seriousness of their illness due to them not wanting to add to their family's emotional burden," he told Mamamia.

For support networks, Diamond said "there is often a feeling of helplessness as family and friends don't know how to offer the support they might need."

"Those needing support can reach out to Cancer Council. Our trusted 13 11 20 information and support service makes tens of thousands of connections each year, helping Australians affected by cancer get the care and support they need at any stage of their cancer experience."  

Feature Image: Canva (Stock image for illustrative purposes only.)

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.