For years they’ve lived in the shadows.
And also in the dirt. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
They’ve been pushed to the back of the pantry, left to go limp and to sprout weird little weed-like tentacles.
Occasionally they were hesitantly brought out at a neighbourhood BBQ, only to be pushed around the plate with loud declarations of “I’m not eating carbs this month”.
Sometimes they poked their dirty little misshapen potato heads out of the pantry and sullenly watched as yet another kale salad was constructed.
They silently sobbed when they first spotted their humans making noodles out of zucchinis and rice out of cauliflower.
Occasionally they whispered “mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes” trying to send subliminal messages to those in the kitchen.
But mostly they sat there in the dark – mute – waiting for their time in the sun.
And now that time has finally come.
The humble white potato is apparently having a comeback.
Soon your dinner plate will be heaped with mounds of their mashed, fluffy white flesh. Crunchy chips will be sold on every street corner. Wedges will fall from the sky and you’ll be able to skip through the streets, catching them in a woven basket. Desirees will hold the majority in the Australian Senate and kipflers will star in their own reality TV show.
