Content warning: The following post discusses addiction and suicidal ideation.
Growing up, the pokies were associated with "joy and positivity" for Anna Martin. The youngster, of course, didn't use them until she was of legal age, but she watched in delight as her grandfather escaped into the gambling area while the rest of the family were at the pub.
Watch: Victorian Responsible Gambling Foundation: Have you had 'the talk'? Post continues after video.
"All I remember was the laughing," Anna told Mia Freedman on Mamamia's No Filter podcast. "I remember the coins clinking in the cups before note acceptors came in. I remember people coming out with smiles on their faces."
Then, when she turned 18, Anna's grandfather gave her a cup of coins to join him. And during one of her first times gambling, she won. A lot. It was more money than she made at her part-time job, and it gave her an unbeatable rush.
At first, the pokies were an activity reserved for Anna to share with her grandfather. But eventually she would find herself gambling solo in between university lectures.
"It quickly became a hobby that was destructive," Anna recalled, explaining that she wouldn't leave the venue until she had run out of money, or until the shame felt unbearable. Avoiding eye contact with fellow gamblers, the university student was there to "indulge in the addiction and leave".