My journey with Alopecia Areata started around the same time as I discovered I was pregnant with my first child. I was 27 years old.
The first signs of hair loss came as I left the hairdressers with a glowing mane of newly-coloured hair. I was checking myself out in the mirror, when I saw by each temple, a smooth hairless area about the size of two 50 cent pieces.
I immediately put it down to my hair being over-coloured and stressed out.
Martina Owens and family. Source: Supplied.
I didn’t think again of it until about one month post-pregnancy, when my hair began to fall out in giant clumps. Each morning I would wake up to see my pillowcase covered in hair. It was distressing, to say the least.
I found myself not wanting to see my reflection and, even worse, not wanting my husband to see my hair loss.
Eventually, I became totally bald. My eyebrows were gone, my eyelashes too, I didn’t grow hair under my arms any more (let alone in any other private areas) and even the hairs inside my nose disappeared, along with my confidence and my happy-go-lucky attitude.
Doctors tested me for countless ‘illnesses’ but no clear-cut answers were given, which was so frustrating and really taxing on my self-esteem. I thought if I had a condition to blame, I could take some comfort in knowing it was nothing I had done to cause it.
Martina Owens. Source: Supplied.
So with endless tests done and countless hours on the internet, it was put down to unexplained sudden and total hair loss – also known as Alopecia Areata.
Everything seemed to be telling me I was faulty. Every time I put on the TV or flicked through a magazine, I was bombarded with adverts for hair shampoos and treatments, for which I had no use any more. Even hearing and seeing my girlfriend’s results from a trip to the hairdresser upset me.
I had to keep telling myself that it was ‘only hair’ and that ‘I wasn’t dying’, but I felt like my world was crashing down around me.
My confidence made a return, to a degree, with the purchase of a wig, and I carried on with life as best I could. I married the love of my life wearing a wig and skillfully drawn-on eyebrows — Alopecia Areata wasn’t going to wreck my wedding day.
Martina Owens and son. Source: Supplied.
My hair made another appearance when I fell pregnant with my second child, only for it to fall out again after the birth.
The day my then-three year old son told me he wished he could give me his hair so I wouldn’t be upset any more made me reassess what was important in life – my family and friends who loved me for being me.
The daily challenges of dealing with Alopecia Areata vary from an ultra-sensitive nose due to no nasal hairs, and how important eyelashes are (they actually are very clever little hairs that do more than you think).
There's also the art of drawing on eyebrows daily, or accidentally wiping your eyebrow off (the horror!) or worrying about windy days (hair flying off into the distance) and summertime being a little uncomfortable wearing wigs.
Martina Owens. Source: Supplied.
The hardest part of Alopecia, however, is accepting myself the way I am today — not a year ago with hair, or living for the future, wishing that my hair returns.
Today, I am totally bald. Apart from that, I am well. There is nothing stopping me from getting on with life. Even though sometimes it’s really hard to feel like a whole woman, feel attractive or even sexy for my husband, I now know my hair doesn’t define me and that I am loved, hair or no hair.
I never thought that I was vain, but losing my hair showed me how much hair and appearance really matters to the world around me. I think society needs to place less value and judgment on people’s outward appearance; I am worth more than a head of hair.
November 13-20 is Alopecia Areata Awareness Week, which seeks to build more awareness and understanding about the condition. For more information, visit http://www.aaaf.org.au/events/
Anyone affected by Alopecia can find support through Australia Alopecia Areata Foundation. For more information visit www.aaaf.org.au. You can also help others by donating your hair - for more information, visit www.aaaf.org.au
