There are some fairly distinct signs that you are now a parent. Often it’s quite obvious, I mean there’s a tiny human sleeping under your roof for one thing. But there are other, definite changes in circumstances that you will only fully appreciate when you become a parent.
So, you might be a parent if:
1. You’ve thrown a towel over peed on sheets and gone back to bed.
2. The wheelie bin goes out more than you do.
3. A trip to the supermarket alone feels like a vacation.
4. You’ve given up all hope of finishing a cup of coffee whilst it remains hot.
5. You’ve devised new and inventive ways to swear when stepping on Lego.
6. You’ve forgotten what sleeping in until 9am feels like.
7. You’ve blindly swatted at your kids in the back seat whilst driving.
8. Objects have been thrown at your exposed buttocks whilst showering.
9. Peeing alone is now considered a luxury.
10. You have caught yourself watching Peppa Pig despite your child having left the room 25 minutes beforehand.
11. There is an email in your inbox with the subject line “Head lice.”
12. You’ve picked a booger out of a nose that isn’t your own.
13. Instead of running away from projectile vomit, you run towards it.
14. It takes longer to pack the bag than run the actual errand.
15. Your child has cut its own hair. Badly.
17. You discover that Pinot Gris goes VERY well with cold chicken nuggets.
18. You answer to any kid calling for “Mum!” in a public space.
19. You find yourself rocking back and forth on the spot despite the fact that there is no longer a baby in your arms.
20. You have a secret chocolate stash because frankly, you’re sick of sharing.
Did we miss anything? When did you know that you were DEFINITELY a parent?
Extra: Travelling With Children Is Traumatic
This Glorious Mess
