The "Wren Effect": 11 parents on what they share of their kids on social media.

Three-year-old TikTok star Wren Eleanor and her mum Jacquelyn made news last week when online sleuths uncovered a slew of inappropriate comments and 'saves' of Wren's content across TikTok and Instagram. 

While Wren's mum Jacquelyn made an official statement to acknowledge the concern for her daughter, parents around the world began deleting photos and videos of their kids in response.

As a mum who still shares occasional photos of my kids on Instagram and Facebook, mostly now with their consent, I was very interested to know how other parents felt about this issue. 

Watch: Mia Freedman discusses kids on social media. Post continues below.

So, we reached out to the Mamamia community to find out how much they share their kids online.

Here's what they had to say.

1. "We don't share his face."

"My husband and I decided before our son was born that we didn’t want to share his face on the internet. I share a lot of my life on Instagram, so it took me awhile to get my head around my husband's strong feelings about this. I share stories and images on my Instagram of him where you cannot see his face (or I use an emoji to cover it) and he is always fully dressed. 

"I also have a 'close friends' list on my Instagram Stories where I share him more openly. Close friends isn’t perfect, but it has provided me with a good alternative to still share my 'mum life' with those close to me without compromising my son's identity or privacy.

"To be honest, I am actually really surprised by how many people I know have been judgmental because I'm NOT sharing. For me, it’s important to think through the impacts of sharing images online for privacy reasons, but also just for your kid growing up with content they didn’t consent to on the internet." - Breana.

2. "I'll deal with it when he's older."

"As my son gets older, if he doesn't want to be photographed or filmed, I will of course respect his decision, but for now I love sharing him! He's a baby and if he has a problem with it when he's older, I'll deal with it then. The community of women I share him with are so lovely and share their children with me too. I'm VERY careful with sharing any detail that could alert people to our location though. So I won't ever say what area we live in, or give any personal details away." - Kelly.

3. "My accounts are private."

"I used to have a public Instagram where I would share all sorts of things, including my son. One day I had someone DM me asking if I lived somewhere specific based on something I posted in our backyard. So now my Instagram and Facebook are private." - Alana.

4. "I'm very cautious."

"I have a three-month-old and I’m very cautious about what I share. I would never share photos of them in the bath, wearing swimming outfits, etc. My Instagram and Facebook are private and I ask permission before photographing/sharing photos of other people's children." - Hannah.

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5. "I’m thinking I’ll have to quit soon."

"My Facebook and Instagram accounts are set to private, so I share quite a few photos of my kids on there. We live overseas and it’s an easy way for my family to see what we’ve been doing. My concern now is my seven-year-old knows a bit about how social media works and is often eager to see how many 'hearts' she got if I post her photo, so I’m thinking I’ll have to quit soon. It’s not good for her to be so invested in the 'likes' at this age." - Nic.

6. "It’s the reality of our times."

"My sister and her husband are not fans of social media and they decided from the start not to have my niece on any socials until she can work out what she wants for herself. I have full respect for that choice and I’ve made a different one. But that might change, who knows! 

"I think that much of our kids' lives will inevitably be played out online. It’s the reality of our times, and there have been so many moral panics in the past about new and scary things like this." - Hannah V.

7. "We don't post any identifiable photos."

"We don't post any photos where the kids (ages one, three and six) are identifiable. Occasionally we post an 'artistic' shot of the back of them out in nature or something. Our reasons are two-fold. Firstly, I really don't like it when people post photos of me without asking. If they want to post their baby photos when they are old enough, they can go for it.

"Secondly, I might be overprotective, but even with the highest privacy settings, you are gambling that every 'friend' can be trusted with your child's photos. Predators take totally normal photos and upload them onto the dark web." - Cara.

8. "I think I’m done sharing after hearing Wren's story."

"Until just last week, I have been a regular 'sharer' of the milestones of my three children. My eldest is six and my youngest is four months old. I am a social media freelancer for small businesses, so social media plays a big role in my life. 

"However, I think I’m done sharing after hearing Wren's story. On top of this, family members who don’t make any effort with my kids have full access to their milestones, and that leads them to believe that they have a connection with them. It was confusing for the kids which is hard to explain. This person who doesn’t have much to do with them, knows a lot about them." - Caitlin.

9. "I have always been an over-sharer."

"I have always been an over-sharer of my kids on Facebook and Instagram since they were born. My Facebook has always been set to private but my Instagram is public. About a year ago, my husband said he wasn't comfortable with the kids faces being shared on Instagram and as they are now 11 and eight. I have reluctantly agreed. I don't have any particular fears over their safety, it's more about their privacy as they are getting older." - Annaliese.

Wren Eleanor and mum Jacquelyn. Image: TikTok.

10. "I think it’s important to teach them about consent."

"I still post occasional pictures of my children and I ask my kids if they’re okay with it before I do. I think it’s important to teach them about consent from an early age. I don’t have lots of friends on my private socials and I enjoy being able to connect with friends from home overseas and the family that still live there." - Rosanna

11. "I wanted to model consent and being present."

"I stopped posting my kids on socials a couple of years ago, when my eldest was about to start school. It's hard to articulate, but I felt she was at an age when her story had become her own to tell as she wished. As a baby she felt like an 'extension of me' and I presented her to the world, but I grew to respect her autonomy as an individual. I hope that I've given her space to feel confident in forming her own identity as she grows.

"Apart from needing to send the very occasional polite request to remove a photo, it's working fine for us as a family. I have a photo sharing app for grandparents who live overseas that I upload to it most days.

"I also stopped because I wanted to model consent and being present. When I take photos now, I ask them if I can it to their grandparents so that as they grow older, they know that it is reasonable to seek consent to take photos and not to share them without it." - Rochelle. 

Read more: The "Wren Effect": Why parents are suddenly deleting all photos of their kids.

What about you? Do you share photos of your kids online? Tell us in the comments below. 

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos (mostly of her outfits), follow her on Instagram and  TikTok.

Feature Image: Getty.