'These stories about the worst things cleaners have found keep me up at night.'

When we invite cleaners into our homes, it's an intimate act. They get up close and personal with our mess. But beyond the mess, they see through the smoke and mirrors guests see when they come into our homes.

Our hidden dust in corners and crevices, our shower grime and when was the last time the sheets were changed?

Watch: Parents Anonymous: Our Advice For Houseguests. Post continues after video.

For most of us, we feel the need to 'clean before the cleaner' arrives. A sometimes ridiculed ritual. But it's that fortnightly or monthly forced dance that coerces us to get our act together and 'tidy' so they can clean.

I've always wondered what the brave people cleaning our homes think about the state in which we live. I'm a sucker for a war story.

Then the other day my curiosity prayers were answered in the form of my group chat. It was blowing up with my friends sharing stories from a particular thread on Reddit where professional cleaners shared the grossest things they had ever found.

And I can't stop thinking about it. It's literally keeping me up at night. It turns out that not everyone 'cleans before the cleaner' after all. So I've rounded up some of the most bizarre (and downright gross) ones for your reading pleasure. Here we go…

Cleaning horror stories.

The 'booger wall'.

"Professional housekeeper here. Did a move-out clean today and the [real estate agent] told me 'it wasn't that bad'. Went upstairs and started on the bedroom, and then I discovered booger hell. Right next to the bed lived an entire wall, cover in boogers. As I continued to clean, everywhere I looked, there were f*cking BOOGERS. Topping my nightmare off, the house had flat paint," one brave cleaner wrote.

I just can't. I have no words for the above. Moving on…

Lord of the flies.

"I think the grossest thing I've ever encountered were fruit flies in a refrigerator. And I don't mean like a couple fruit flies. I'm talking HUNDREDS of them layered in the bottom of the fridge, little piles of them in the corners of the shelves and clumps in the doors. This was a WORKING refrigerator mind you. How did they even get in there??? And how do you continue to use a fridge with dead bugs in it???" someone shared.

I am shook. Can bugs get into the fridge and live? I will be sure to check for bugs in mine when I get home tonight.

Bed bug takeover.

I recently came home after a few weeks away and, since returning, have noticed an increase in cockroaches in my kitchen. This next one definitely inspired me to call a pest company. STAT.

"I cleaned a townhouse that was infested with bed bugs and roaches. I mean every inch of the place was covered so that the walls looked black. The house was a brand-new build that people had lived there for a year with kids, and it was trashed." they said.

Projectile mess.

When it comes to cleaning up excrement — surely beyond your own or your own children's — I hadn't put much thought into people leaving it for strangers to clean up. But they certainly do.

"(They) had gotten sick and thrown up, somehow missing the toilet. It got all over the side of his tub and shower curtain, and on the floor surrounding the base of the toilet. He had gotten 'most of it' but my cleaner partner had to deal with the rest of that mess." another commented.

Ew, I am officially put off my morning tea.

Anywhere but the toilet.

And this one, well…. just wow.

"Worst thing happened within my first month of my first ever housekeeping job. Truly don't even know what happened but it was a couple staying at a hotel and by the time I got in the room there was diarrhea shit legitamently all over the bathroom. Like I don't even know how they accomplished it, on the ceiling, in the sink, behind the toilet, on the mirrors, every wall, yet nothing in the actual toilet."

Rugged rug.

There were some that didn't go into too much detail (thank god) but the nuance was enough to set the visual scene and leave the rest to the imagination:

"It involved one of those braided rope rugs and a very sick German Shepherd. Even worse than you can imagine. It took hours," they commented.

Log ride.

If people can treat their own homes like this, imagine how bad the state of some hotel rooms get left in? Another cleaner shared what was left behind after a particular hotel guest. And I almost think it needs a retching trigger warning:

"Toilets at the hotel. Usually it's doable, but wow, some people just have explosions or others miss the hole by a mile! Only once so far I had to clean an actual log off the seat. It was so gross, and I put multiple gloves on the same hand. Thankfully, I just had to push it into the bowl.... but seriously, why did it even happen in the first place? Who does that?" a cleaner wrote.

Who. Does. That. Indeed.

Well, if you made it this far, you are a fellow doom creep. And I think we can all agree that the state in which we leave — and what we leave — for our cleaners means they deserve a payrise!

Are you a cleaner? What is the worst thing you've ever found? Share in the comments below.

Feature Image: Blue Crush via Universal Pictures.