real life

'She told me to take weight-loss injections.' Just 4 of the very worst in-law Christmas stories.

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'Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring… 

Because they were all giving each other the silent treatment after a passive-aggressive meal. 

Watch Holly Wainwright discussing in-law relationships on MID with Jacqui Manning. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

Ah, Christmas. A time where people who would never choose to spend more than an hour in each other's company are somehow expected to cohabit over one of the most domestic-labour-intensive weeks of the year. 

If you're currently staring down the barrel of close-quarters time with some problematic in-laws, take heart: misery loves company, and we've collated some of the very worst anonymous in-law holiday stories to join you in the doldrums. 

'My MIL gave my daughter explosive diarrhoea.'

"My in-laws live in the Mornington Peninsula, which is always a bit of a mission for us to get to, but Christmas is a massive deal to my partner, so we generally do an early Christmas celebration with my family and then spend the big day with his.

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My daughter is now three, and last year was diagnosed as being lactose intolerant, though she's always had food issues. My mother-in-law is from a big, immigrant family who 'doesn't believe' in food intolerances, and insists we're 'making her this way' because we're anxious parents. We arrived to a giant tray of lasagne, laden with cheese, of course, and nothing alternative for our daughter to eat. Luckily, I had brought our own food, predicting this, but a few hours later, our daughter woke up with violent vomiting and diarrhoea.

Turns out MIL had decided to let her have some lasagne while we were bathing her younger brother. I took great pleasure in leaving the sheets in her laundry for her to deal with while we soothed our poor kid."

'My sister-in-law told me to take weight-loss injections.'

"It's Christmas Day last year, we're all in the pool, and my sister-in-law, apropos of nothing, just calls across the deck: 'Those swimmers would look even better after a few skinny jabs, babe!'

I just stood there, six months postpartum, wanting to be swallowed up by a blow-up swan. She was drunk, sure, but who says that?"

Listen to the entire episode of MID here. Post continues below.

'My nephew puked in my kid's stocking.'

"We were staying at my husband's brother's house. He has four sons, the youngest of whom had just turned 17 and was taken out on the town with his older siblings for Christmas Eve, which, in Canberra, is quite a big night for all the out-of-towners who have come home for the holidays.

The kids were upstairs while my husband and I were sleeping in a kind of sunroom off the loungeroom, and we awoke to an almighty crash at around 2am, when Master 17 was dragged inside by his older brothers, having consumed so much Christmas cheer that he was barely standing.

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For some reason unbeknownst to anyone, he reached for the first thing he could find and vomited loudly into it. It just happened to be the stocking I'd filled with presents about two hours earlier."

'My wife's parents split up on New Year's Eve.'

"My wife's parents are the kind of boomer parents you assume will be together forever – never that affectionate, but not openly hostile either. Just regular, run-of-the-mill parents.

Anyway, Christmas comes and goes without fanfare, but we were staying with them at their beach house for New Year's Eve. Some family friends that have been on the scene for literally 40 years were also coming down to celebrate. Halfway through the night, my wife's mum and the woman from the other couple disappear into the bedroom (not like that!) and then just … don't come out. Eventually, at about 10pm, they emerge and my MIL has been crying, and they get into the car and just drive away. She phoned my father-in-law from a hotel and said she wanted a divorce. It had been a long time coming, and she couldn't pretend anymore.

That was three years ago, and she never slept another night in the beach house! He now lives there permanently and she's in the family home in the city. It was such a weird situation and even now, we don't really know the finer details of what caused the final straw." 

Feature image: Universal Pictures.

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