'I had a baby, not a lobotomy.' Before the career glass ceiling, there’s the maternal wall.

I still remember the meeting vividly. The owners of the company I worked for had called me in for a chat. My manager had just resigned. I knew it was my time: they were going to ask me if I was interested in taking her place.

“How do you feel about Elizabeth* leaving? We assume she told you?” they asked.

I told them that yes, she had told me, and I was still in shock. My manager had been integral in setting up the business and I assumed she would stay with the company for a very long time. Even though I was sad she was leaving, I assured them I was ready to step into her role. 

In dramatic fashion, I proclaimed: “I was MADE for this job.”

“Oh.” Now, it was their turn to be shocked. “We assumed you wouldn’t want to do the job, because you have a baby.”

I froze. A look of incredulity on my face.

South Australian Senator Larissa Waters was the first woman to pass a motion in Parliament while breastfeeding. Post continues below.

I returned to work part-time when my daughter was five months old. 

A combination of reasons led me back to work earlier than the norm. The biggest factor was that we needed the money. As I worked as a freelancer while I was pregnant, I wasn’t entitled to any paid maternity leave other than what the government provided. And that money had run out. 

I also quite enjoy my work. I’d always planned to work a couple of days a week in the first year of my daughter’s life – even if it was on my own creative projects. 

My bosses’ assumption that I wouldn’t even be interested in the role rocked me. I couldn’t believe they had overlooked me for a promotion – for this job I believed I was put on this Earth to do (exaggerating again, but you know what I mean) – because I was a mum. It felt so … 1990s. 

The next 10 minutes of the meeting was a soliloquy on all the ways I would absolutely kill it in the role and all the ideas I had to make it happen. When I finally stopped talking to breathe, they said, “Of course, you should do the role. There’s no one better. We’re sorry that we didn’t even think to talk to you.”

In the end, I did get that job. 

I respected that the bosses owned up to their mistaken bias straight away, but it did leave me feeling like I had to constantly outperform to reaffirm that they made the right decision by giving this very important job to the mother of a young child. 

I worked hard. I worked long hours. I ended up severely burned out. 

And then, in one of my last meetings with the owners, I was told: “No one with a child works after 6pm.” After all the late nights I'd spent working after putting my daughter to bed, I had no words. 

Listen to Holly Wainwright & Andrew Daddo speak to Cathy's story of returning to work after 20 years. Post continues below.

Until recently, I thought (hoped?) that this bias against working mums wasn’t as prevalent these days. That my case was a rarity.

But no.

I came across this recent Instagram post from podcaster and parenting advocate Anna Whitehouse.

“Most women hit the maternal wall before the glass ceiling,” she writes. “Whether it’s lack of promotion, redundancy, being passed over for opportunities because they have a [baby]."

And then there’s this from UK law firm Baker McKenzie: 77 per cent of working mothers surveyed by the Equality and Human Rights Commission experienced discrimination or negative experiences. That’s almost eight of 10! 

Things obviously need to change. Other than speaking up for yourself, a large part rests on the employers.

Whitehouse suggests three ways employers can close the gender pay gap. Firstly, she says companies need to promote part-time workers. 

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“It’s not rocket science. Far from being slackers, part-time workers are not part-arsed or part-committed or part-ambitious. They are fully invested in your company,” she says. “Implement job shares if you need to."

Her next piece of advice? “Stop discriminating against women for daring to have a baby. Women like me. I had a baby, not a lobotomy.”

It’s an idea I fully support (see: the rest of the piece). If anything, I’ve become better at my job because I know how precious time is.

Lastly, Whitehouse says companies need to be more open to flexible working. “Make it work, however it looks: core hours, compressed hours, job share, working from home. 

“It isn’t just flexible working. It’s inclusive working.”  

Feature Image: Supplied.