'I'm a woman who squirts during sex. We need to talk about it.'

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I really hate the word 'squirting' — but that's what I do.

I didn't know what squirting — also known as flooding, gushing and ejaculating — was until about a decade ago, when I was in my late forties.

After my first husband's affair came to light, and he left, I was broken-hearted, lonely, and convinced I would never want to find somebody else.

And I was also embarrassed at the idea of being with somebody new, because I'd never had an orgasm.

Watch: Ally Hensley found out she had no vagina at 16. Post continues below.

I'd had sex with more than 15 men in my life.

I lost my virginity at 17 with my then steady boyfriend, and a series of partners followed (some nice, some not so nice, some serious, some not so serious) until I met my husband-to-be in my late twenties.

The sex with those men was pleasant enough, and often very enjoyable, but I knew I wasn't reaching the dizzying heights that it appeared most women reach.

Even masturbation didn't get me there.

The problem was that I always felt I needed to wee during sex or masturbation. So, when I was with somebody, I would fake an orgasm to ensure I didn't urinate.

When I was alone, I would stop, shrug, and make myself a cup of tea instead.

However, after my husband left me, I began to research, masturbate with more purpose, look at porn, and it felt like I was getting closer to this elusive orgasm. But I still felt like I needed to have a wee rather than come, so I'd stop.

And the whole situation would make me feel a bit nauseous.

Then, one evening, when I had the house to myself, I decided to keep going. I was shocked and thrilled to discover that I could orgasm — and it came with a lot of clear fluid that was most definitely not urine.

It didn't smell like urine, and it didn't look like urine. I realised that I had a lot of catching up to do.

I began researching and discovered (along with a lot of porn) that there is a stunning lack of research into female squirting (surprise, surprise).

The current understanding is that there are several types of fluid that can be expelled by women during sexual activity: vaginal lubrication, female ejaculation, vaginal squirting, and coital incontinence. The exact nature of the fluid has been controversial for decades.

The problem was that "vaginal squirting" didn't explain what happened to me. The fluid I expelled during stimulation did not come from my vagina. It came from my urethra and resulted from clitoral stimulation.

I spoke to my GP, who admitted she didn't know much about the research in the field.

She referred me to a gyno, also a woman, who insisted it was vaginal fluid. So, I continued to wonder and hold myself back with the couple of men I dated in that first year of single-dom.

Then I met and fell for the man who is now my second husband and I eventually felt comfortable enough to tell him my story, although I was still too embarrassed to let him get me there.

I spent years avoiding, or faking, orgasms. Image: Getty.

We visited a Melbourne sex therapist, Suze*, to talk about the situation, which was starting to really bother me. I described my experience, and she agreed I was ejaculating.

Suze suggested buying a protective "love rug" for the bed (available online) and recommended that my partner leave the room just as I was about to ejaculate. The hope was that as I became more comfortable, I would allow him to stay.

The plan worked.

We bought a purple waterproof blanket online, and my partner would slip out of the bedroom while I finished what we started. We laughed a lot in the early days as he dashed naked from the room, which was sexy in itself.

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A decade on, my husband and I have a well-oiled system in place. When we get passionate, he grabs a couple of towels to keep our linen dry.

And he doesn't have to leave the room anymore.

For other women who experience squirting — or gushing, flooding, or whatever else you might call it — please don't feel embarrassed or awkward. Embrace what your clever, beautiful body does, whether you're alone or with a partner (or two).

The more you accept it, the more you enjoy it.

And, who knows, maybe one day there will be a research centre dedicated to this anatomical issue, as I'm sure there would be if there was uncertainty about male ejaculation.

Feature image: Canva.