There’s a word for what we’re all going through these holidays. It’s called 'kinkeeping’'.

The Royal family is gearing up for a grand yuletide celebration this year, with Prince William disclosing that 45 royal family members are slated to attend the Christmas festivities. One of the biggest royal Christmas gatherings in decades.

Lovely. But is anyone else feeling tired for Princess Catherine? After the year she's had, why is she prioritising the wants of Will's family when she should be putting her feet up and resting?

Well, this level of dedication and effort has a name. It's called 'kinkeeping' — and chances are, you might be guilty of it too.

Watch: Parents Anonymous: Advice for house guests. Post continues after video.

TikTok creator Paige (@sheisapaigeturner) highlighted the term in a recent video, describing the notion of 'kinkeeping' like this: when women are married to men, they frequently find themselves shouldering the bulk of family relationship maintenance.

An invisible labour.

In the intricate web of family dynamics, there's an often-overlooked pattern that places an unfair burden on women.

"Women are often unfairly responsible for maintaining relationships with their husband's families," Paige explained.

"Reminding him of his mother's birthday, for example, or buying and wrapping gifts for his family, or prompting family get-togethers just because it's been a minute since the last gathering."

Read: You're the family glue and everyone takes advantage of it.

Gender roles during the holidays.

While this dynamic persists year-round, it reaches a fever pitch during the holiday season.

"While it's true throughout the year, it's particularly arduous during the holidays... and it doesn't always go well," Paige said.

The festive period often brings simmering tensions to the surface, with daughters-in-law bearing the brunt of family frustrations.

"Around the holidays, you will often hear this unfair narrative that, 'Oh, my son's wife is always with her family... Once he married her, we no longer see him anymore. She really doesn't put in any effort with us.' This work unfairly falls to women and when the in-laws feel like they don't see them enough, they often blame the woman," she said.

Watch Paige's explanation on 'kinkeeping' below.

@sheisapaigeturner

When women marry men, they often take on the work of maintaining the relationships with his family. This work unfairly falls to women and when the in-laws feel like they don’t see them enough, they often blame the woman. It’s important that we change our perspective here, and to men to become more involved in this important work. #mentalload#mentalloadofmotherhood#kinkeeping#inlaws#holidayvibes#marriageadvice

♬ original sound - Paige

The role of kinkeeping in family dynamics.

We asked the Mamamia community to tell us if they're the 'kinkeeper' of the family, and what this means for them. And friends, the response was… HUGE.

"Without me, my husband would have almost no contact with his family. My family are very celebratory — we go out together for birthday dinners, he might send a text or make a phone call if he remembers and that sometimes requires me to remind him. I buy his family Christmas gifts, otherwise it will end up us dropping in to see them and we'll have nothing, which makes me feel terrible. There are kids involved too, and I don't want them to feel like we're the s**t family." - *Sezza.

"His mum has complained that we always stay with my family when we come to visit and that really pi**ed me off at the time because my husband never makes the effort to make plans — so I make my own. My husband also once complained that his family never sees our child. I take her to see them whenever we are in town, every single time, whether he is with me or not. It's exhausting, but I feel like if I don't do this, my kid will never see that side of her family." - *Laura.

"It all totally falls on me. I have always loved organising things and making Christmas special for everyone, so, in a way, I guess I've enabled it by doing it all over the years. But if I didn't do it, there would be no Christmas magic, presents would be thin on the ground and it would be the very bare minimum. I'm sure he'd say, "You don't ask me to help — just tell me what you want me to do!" but the point is, it shouldn't be up to me to do that — that's just MORE mental load. If he wanted to, he would. Just like I do." - *Tania.

"My partner is good at managing things, although I think of more stuff that needs to be done, I delegate to him and he sorts it." - *Simone.

"I refuse to use any mental load thinking of present ideas for my partner's family. If he wants to give them a gift, that includes thinking of what to buy, not just paying for it." - *Sarah.

Anyone else feel seen?

Shifting the responsibility.

But back to Paige. In the viral video, she argued that the key to overcoming the crux of 'kinkeeping' involves a significant shift in perspective.

"I think it's really important if you are the mother-in-law, father-in-law, whatever you might be, and your son's family doesn't spend a lot of time with you around the holidays, or you feel like they don't put in a lot of effort: remind yourself that that is not his partner's fault. That is your son's fault. If you feel like you don't see your son enough, if you feel like they don't spend enough time with your family, then you need to talk to your son about that."

Meaning? Stop piling the responsibility — and the blame — on women.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

Are you a 'kinkeeper?' Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Feature Image: Getty Images.