We asked 28 women why they last had sex. Their stories are far more complex than just 'being in the mood'.

Ask a man why he last had sex, and you could probably predict the answer. Ask a woman, though, and the answer may not be quite so simple.

We asked 28 women why they last had sex, and their responses told a story far more layered than pure desire. Their experiences showed just how complex sex can be; sometimes tender, sometimes transactional, sometimes joyful, and sometimes painful, all depending on the context.

Watch: Sarah Marie explains the dilemma of sex after having kids. Post continues after video.

Sex expert and co-host of Sxhibition, Belinda Love, says this complexity can be difficult to identify, even for women themselves.

"I think many women don't always know on a deep level why they're having sex," Belinda said.

"On the surface, they'll often say it's for pleasure. I can relate to this personally — for years, I thought it was about fun and freedom, but really I was seeking love and validation."

Here, in their own words, are the real reasons women last had sex.

The reasons women last had sex.

Love and desire.

For some women, sex is the ultimate expression of intimacy. It's about connection, passion, and love.

Rachel.

"20-year marriage here, and couldn't wait a half hour after him getting home. Showering, and then it was on."

Sophie.

"Yesterday. Because I love everything about my husband, and we do it every day even though I'm 30 weeks pregnant."

Melanie.

"Because my girlfriend is amazing. The end."

Hannah.

"Because my partner knows how to make me go wild, and he knows when I need a stress release and a great night sleep."

Katie.

"Because I love my partner and we both love having sex. We're lucky to make it past 3 days without sex. We both have a high sex drive and will take any opportunity to get naked."

Obligation.

Not all sex is rooted in romance. For some women, it happens because it's easier than saying no, or because it's expected by their partner.

Clare.

"Cause my husband wants it?"

Emma.

"With my ex, because it was easier to allow it than him use it as an excuse to be an arsehole to me."

Tina.

"Because I had been asking for it so it was 'scheduled' before he fell asleep and p*ssed me off."

Hormones.

For women, sex drive can be influenced by a range of hormonal factors, such as pregnancy, postpartum recovery, and the physical shifts that come with age and menopause.

Leanne.

"Boredom. Trying to get my libido back. Fun."

Jenny.

"3 months post-partum and needed to get it done to see how it would feel."

Barbara.

"Oh, some of the reasons before would have made an amazing story! But now, perimenopause has killed my libido."

Samantha.

"Convenience (married) and HRT, especially the Ovestin cream."

Mia.

"To make a baby."

Just for fun.

For many women, sex isn't about love or duty — it's about exploring their sexuality and seeking adventure.

Grace.

"Because we bought new toys."

Rachel-Anne.

"Cause we hadn't done it for ages."

Fiona.

"I'm a horny toad."

Natalie.

"I last had sex after about 10 shots of tequila and ended up taking the bartender home for a one-night stand."

Isabelle.

"I last had sex with my boyfriend while on the phone with my sugar daddy listening."

Anna.

"Simply was horny."

Zoe.

"Definitely just cause I was drunk and whenever I drink that's all I want."

Anger, revenge, and heartbreak.

For some women, sex was a way to take back control after betrayal, or to feel desired again after a relationship's end.

Ellie.

"Ex said he wanted to speak to other women and go on dates for validation. Out of sheer rage, I slept with like 3 guys in a week. Made me feel better."

Jessica.

"I caught my ex with a sex worker, so I went out and banged a bloke he introduced me to 2 weeks prior that he wanted to be hanging out with."

Tara.

"Because I caught my partner in bed with someone else on my birthday, and I wanted to feel desired, so settled for the first thing to look my way."

Healing and starting over.

After years of pain or abuse, sex can also be part of recovery — a way to test new boundaries or rediscover pleasure.

Laura.

"I've been single after an abusive 25-year marriage with only one partner, so I went out and had relations with a guy from Tinder to see what it was like with someone not abusive."

Amie.

"Why I last decided to have sex? 2 years celibate post messy marriage separation. A handsome Italian man 11 years younger than me pursues me. At first, I'm not interested (still burnt by my husband).

"But after some careful consideration, I entertain the thought of the young Italian. I lay down some rules: My kids can't know. He doesn't sleep over. He agrees and we go for it. We continue having sex for 3 months. He left town yesterday as planned. Happy with my decision."

Just because.

Sometimes, sex happens because of timing, convenience, or simply being in the right (or wrong) place.

Nina.

"Because we co-parent an animal – dropped fur baby back to my ex's place. He knew what time I would be there. He then asked me to watch TV… one thing led to another. Sex is always great… we are both single… no harm done."

Lucy.

"Because he had a crap personality and I figured I may as well get something for using my time on a bad date. Plus, it's a good way of ensuring they don't talk to you again."

Chloe.

"I last had sex cause my client paid me $750!"

***

Belinda says it's important to recognise how women's reasons for sex have shifted across generations:

"Baby Boomers grew up when sex was taboo, Gen X began to break the silence, Millennials reframed it through feminism and equality, and Gen Z are the most open yet, with social media and consent culture making all reasons fair game. Each generation has brought a new lens," she said.

"Sometimes we say yes to avoid conflict, or from fear that he'll leave. That's an even stronger reason to say no, because it's rooted in insecurity and will only leave you hurt.

When your choices come from self-worth rather than fear or expectation, you stand in your power."

Belinda says when sex only happens when both people are 'in the mood,' relationships can fall into boredom or avoidance.

"Curiosity, experimentation, or choosing intimacy for closeness rather than arousal can actually keep things alive. Sometimes it's exploration that sparks desire, rather than waiting for desire to magically appear."

But, she says, the most important thing for women to enjoy a fulfilling sex life is recognising the full spectrum of reasons.

"One of the biggest misconceptions is that sex is only about orgasm, or a measure of a 'successful' relationship," she said.

"In reality, sex can reflect our relationship with ourselves, our self-love and self-worth. The reasons we say yes or no can either lift us into fulfilment or reveal areas of wounding.

"Approaching sex with honesty and compassion gives us choice, and real power."

Feature image: Canva.