'I was born without a uterus so a friend offered me hers. I wasn't expecting what came next.'

Eighteen years after they first fell in love, and 11 years since their wedding day, Prue and Tom hope that 2023 will be the year their longed-for family dreams finally come true.

They each grew up as part of big and loving families, and both always wanted children of their own. But there was an issue. 

Thirty-six-year-old paediatric nurse Prue has a rare condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome, a disorder that affects the female reproductive system. Prue was born with functioning ovaries but without a uterus or cervix, and was told while still a teenager that she could not have children of her own.

"At almost 17 years old, I still hadn't started my period," Prue tells Mamamia of her initial diagnosis.

"After seeing my GP, then a specialist and having genetic blood tests, I was told I had MRKH – a condition so rare, many of the medical staff hadn't even heard of it. 

"Just a year later, I got together with Tom and I told him about it early on. It didn't worry him as we decided we'd find other ways to have a family, and for 18 years now, he's been an amazing support."

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After Prue and design manager Tom got married in 2012, they began their IVF journey to create embryos for a surrogate.

"I underwent six cycles in two years and we shipped all the resulting embryos over to a commercial agency in Thailand. No one had offered to be a surrogate for us here in Australia, so commercial surrogacy was our only real option."

While the couple ended up using three surrogates through their Thai fertility clinic, two pregnancies ended in miscarriage. On the final attempt, the doctor implanted all of their last three embryos at once. Sadly, it didn't work.

"It was a very traumatic couple of years for us. Not only did it not result in a successful pregnancy but after our experience, the Thai military shut down the clinic and our doctor disappeared. We literally never heard from him again. And this was around the time of the baby Gammy scandal in the media, where an Australian couple abandoned their baby son with the Thai surrogate. That was a really difficult two years of our life."

After the trauma and cost associated with their commercial surrogacy experience, Prue says they took a break, but not before one last IVF cycle.

"In November 2014, I had a final round that resulted in three embryos, but it was tough. I suffered with hyperstimulation syndrome and ended up in hospital on a couple of occasions.

"We have kept the three embryos frozen and in storage now for seven years, and considering what a hard time I had creating them, it's sad to think they'll probably never be used."

Prue and Tom relocated to the UK for a new adventure and while working and travelling, they also spoke to child adoption experts.

"We had a few meetings, but as we weren't intending to stay forever in the UK, they did not deem us to be 'viable candidates' to adopt."

Prue and Tom. Image: Supplied.

The couple returned to Melbourne in late 2017 hoping to find a local surrogate while researching surrogacy options in Ukraine.

"We didn't tell any of our family and friends about Ukraine in case they tried to talk us out of it, but then in 2019 I began hearing more about a uterus transplant program that was coming to Australia. I had been following it overseas and had even spoken to women who had been recipients of a donor uterus.

"I decided I wanted to try but in order to be a candidate, we needed five genetically tested embryos in storage and the three we had in Melbourne were not tested, so we'd need to start again."

Just as Prue and Tom began the screening process for the uterus transplant trial at the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney, COVID came along and citywide lockdowns meant the program was placed on hold.

"We couldn't have known then just how far-reaching the effects of the pandemic would be. Assuming it would only be weeks or months, we relocated our whole lives to Sydney to be ready and waiting for when the lockdowns lifted.

"We had found a uterus donor, a beautiful close family friend who had been privy to our fertility journey, but she was based in Melbourne. Who could have imagined that our interstate lives were about to become so complicated?"

As soon as their Sydney fertility clinic reopened in early 2021, Prue began a new cycle of IVF. Thankfully, it was successful, with five embryos resulting from just seven eggs. After they placed the genetically tested embryos in frozen storage, things stalled once again as the transplant program remained on hold.

"It was very isolating to be away from family and friends, so we decided to move back down to Melbourne. Because of continuing lockdowns, we had to apply for a permit and it all came down to the wire with our rental property and moving logistics. Once we finally got the permit, we had to drive into Melbourne in the middle of the night and then self-isolate for two weeks. Looking back now, it's just so hard to believe what we had to do!"

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While Prue and Tom went back to their old jobs in their home city, they waited for news on the transplant program. In early 2022, and while they continued to wait, a friend of Prue's who had worked with her as a nurse in Sydney offered to be their surrogate.

"It was amazing, so we went ahead with psychology, legal and fertility appointments, and by April we had our surrogacy agreement in place. And then in May, we got a call from the RPA transplant trial team saying that they were going to start screening again. They essentially said to us, 'you will not be able to do surrogacy at the same time as prepping for a uterus transplant, so you're going to have to make a choice'.

"We had a conversation with our surrogate and she knew how desperate I was to do the transplant. So with her blessing, we resumed the transplant trial with our donor and went up to Sydney again because we had to repeat a lot of scans and tests."

The couple were told surgery was scheduled for November 2022, but by July they were informed it was an unrealistic timeframe due to COVID, and more likely to go ahead in the first quarter of 2023.

"By this stage we were just exhausted by it all. It was like one step forward, two steps back. We decided to resume our surrogacy plans in the meantime but just before implantation, the fertility team decided that our surrogate's womb lining wasn't thick enough.

"It was yet another blow. We had spent tens of thousands of dollars on surrogacy by this point. We started getting really desperate and tried reaching back out to the transplant team."

After more meetings and tests, Prue, Tom and their donor were ready to proceed with the team at RPA once again before receiving more bad news in January 2023.

"Before Christmas we were told things would be ready to roll in the new year, but during our first conference in January, our donor was told she no longer fit the BMI criteria and would need to go away and 'work on her lifestyle' before the operation. It was beyond frustrating as they had not made us aware of the changes in BMI criteria.

"It was horrible. Our poor donor was devastated after how far we'd come, and to be told at the last minute, 'I'm sorry, we've decided that you're too big to do the surgery'... she had a tough time. Logistically it was a nightmare because we had told our Melbourne-based employers we were moving to Sydney for the surgery and given notice on our rental. 

"Thankfully, a phone call out of the blue changed our luck."

A uterus transplant recipient and friend of Prue's reached out to say that a trial doctor at the Sydney Royal Women's was looking for another candidate after someone pulled out. Prue got straight on the phone to speak with the doctor about the trial, which she knew nothing about.

"I was desperate and had no other option – and the good news was, my donor would fit their criteria. So in the space of a couple of weeks, we were having scans and doing the screening with the new team. And the next thing we knew, our surgery was booked in for March 10. We just couldn't believe it!"

Image: Supplied.

The day before the long-awaited surgery, Prue and Tom's donor flew up from Melbourne with her daughter and Prue's parents. The complicated surgery began as planned at 6am on March10, 2023, with the donor's uterus and blood vessels first being removed and transferred across into Prue. It didn't finish until after 9pm that night.

"I woke up at 10pm that night with a uterus! The pain was intense for the first few days but we both recovered well. I have been on anti-rejection therapy and medication since before the surgery and now, just a few weeks later, I still take 36 tablets per day.

"I'm doing okay physically. I'm up and mobile, chopping veggies and baking banana cake to keep my focus off the pain, and gradually, I'm improving. I feel hopeful."

In about six months, Prue says, the transplant team will consider the first embryo transfer. But for now, it is time to heal and reflect.

"We've booked a few days away in Queensland in June to celebrate our wedding anniversary and my three-month surgery anniversary. Looking back, if I knew everything we would have to go through, I am not sure I would choose to do it again. It has been traumatic and my grief, as well as the mental and emotional effects, will be lifelong.

"We have made so many sacrifices over the years. My career has taken a backseat and we spent our first home deposit on fertility treatments and surrogacy. It's been difficult to watch friends and family have babies, buy homes and settle down, but we have had a different journey.

"My relationship with Tom is so special and we've enjoyed the time just the two of us. I know if and when a baby comes along, we are strong and we will be ready."

To follow Prue's journey in more detail as she continues to recover, follow her on Instagram @makingroomforawomb

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Supplied.