Tuesday's news in under 2 minutes.

By MAMAMIA TEAM

UPDATE: 

A 10-year-old girl in the United States has allegedly raped a 4-year-old boy, and has been charged with aggravated sexual assault. The girl and boy were playing a game of “doctor”, when a neighbour reported the girl’s behaviour to the 4-year-old’s mother.

1. WikiLeaks Party founder Julian Assange has made a rather bizarre political move and appeared in a video made by Juice Rap News. Juice Rap News are a YouTube group who make satirical news bulletins delivered in rap. Somehow they convinced Assange to appear in their video wearing a mullet wig and mouthing the words to an adapted version of John Farnham’s ‘You’re The Voice’.

We suspect that Assange is attempting (and failing) to appeal to ‘the youths’.

2. The United Nations team of inspectors, deployed to Syria to investigate whether chemical weapons were used on civilians last week, have been the subject of gunfire. The group was fired at by unidentified snipers who hit the windscreen of the first vehicle in the UN convoy. Ban Ki-moon, the UN Secretary-General, has asked that “all parties allow this mission to get on with the job so we can begin to establish the facts”.

3. US Secretary of State John Kerry has spoke about the alleged use of chemical weapons in Syria last week. He has used strong language, foreshadowing the willingness of the US Government to take action in conjunction with its allies and in keeping with international law. He said: “What we saw in Syria last week should shock the conscience of the world. It defies any code of morality… Let me be clear. The indiscriminate slaughter of civilians, the killing of women and children and innocent bystanders by chemical weapons is a moral obscenity. By any standard it is inexcusable, and despite the excuses and equivocations that some have manufactured, it is undeniable.’’

4. The AFL Commission and the Essendon Football Club did not reach a resolution yesterday in regards to how the club will be reprimanded for its controversial supplements program. Coach James Hird, who has been at the center of the controversy, remains in his position and did not stand down yesterday despite widespread rumours that he might. Discussions will continue today.

5. Bob Katter and Clive Palmer addressed the National Press Club yesterday afternoon, and promised that they would – if elected – hold the major parties to account following upcoming election. The address was sold as a ‘debate’ but the two party leaders agreed on many of the topics discussed. Mr Katter also criticised the National Party, saying: “Where [once] there were people like myself and Clive in the National Party defending and protecting, this time we are out there attacking. We will hold them to account.”

6. A new drug for patients with terminal prostate cancer, Abiraterone, has been added to the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme. It will be subsidised over the next four years, at a cost to the Government of $430 million. The drug can extend life expectancy in terminal patients by up to four months.

7. Eric ‘Mean Melin’ Melin has won the World Air Guitar Championships in Finland. Unbelievably, this is apparently the 18th time the championships have been held. Take a look at Mean Melin’s mad skills: