By: Heather Gray for The Good Men Project
Heather,
God, I am so pissed to be writing this. I seriously want to tell everyone to just F off. Honestly, that might end up being my option but I thought I’d get your take.
My wife is gorgeous. By nearly anyone’s standards of beauty, she’s simply beautiful. Me…not so much.
We’ll see people look from her to me when we enter a restaurant. I’m always watching other men check her out. It’s been more than fifteen years and guys have always asked me “how I landed her”. Women have asked her “what she sees in me” and have insulted her implying that she’s with me for financial gain.
With holiday events coming up three different people have asked if I’m bringing my “smoking hot wife.”
What the hell do I say here? I’ve told people that kind of talk offends me. I have asked them to be respectful but it feels like we’re up against something bigger: it’s this cultural obsession with looks and beauty that we can’t escape.
I’m so angry. I am tired of being made to feel like I am somehow less than. I’m tired of being made to feel like I don’t deserve her or that I should be grateful she chose me.
I’m just tired. Help?
***
It sounds like you feel like David fighting Goliath….that it’s you and your wife against the world. After fifteen years of defending yourself for something that really has nothing to do with you, I don’t blame you. I’d be over it, too.
I don’t know if my take on this is going to be the same as others. I bet we’re going to get all kinds of comments to this one.
My take may not work for you and your wife so I certainly invite others to jump in.