No one is having sleepovers anymore and the reason why makes a lot of sense.

At a sleepover when I was 14, I broke my toe while we practised a dance routine and I was too embarrassed to tell my friend's parents. I just put up with it throbbing all night. 

At another slumber party, we decided to pull an "all-nighter," which sounds fun but is the complete opposite of fun the next day.

Another time, I can only describe their air conditioning setting as Antarctic, so I slept in a coiled position, too awkward to ask for another blanket. 

Ahhhhhhh those were the days. 

Despite the lumpy mattresses and the fact that very little sleep actually ever happened, sleepovers are a great source of nostalgia for most of us. 

The movie nights. The snacks. Picking which Spice Girl you were before mimicking the video clips. 

They were a core memory. 

And it's very likely our kids will never experience them. 

Watch: The various responses to the question: 'Should you let your kids have sleepovers?' Post continues below.

Because in 2025 — when a generation of parents arguably know more than anyone should ever know about raising kids — slumber parties are in major decline. 

On the more innocent end of the scale, there's the fact that our kids are pretty spoiled when it comes to sleep. While we grew up in the generation of "put up or shut up", our kids get back tickles until they doze off. With white noise. With blackout blinds. With absolute stillness. Not in someone's living room, next to the loudest ticking clock known to man and a display of collectable antique dolls (they still haunt my dreams). 

But on the more sinister side, we also know what can go wrong at sleepovers. 

Take one look at social media and you'll find experts explaining why they would never let their young children sleep away from home, based on the fact that the overwhelming majority of abuse cases happen at the hands of someone known to the family. 

Kristi Mcvee — a former child abuse detective and now child safety expert and educator — says that a big reason for the reduction in slumber parties is that parents are far more involved now than they were in previous generations. 

"Back then, signs of abuse were often ignored, dismissed, or swept under the rug," she told Mamamia.

"You only have to read the comments on my recent Instagram post about sleepovers to see the damage that was and has been done, especially with 28.5 per cent of Australian adults being a victim of child sexual abuse.

"Parents now aren't willing to risk similar trauma. They're asking better questions, setting firmer boundaries, and choosing prevention over blind trust." 

There can also now be potential issues when it comes to different household rules around screentime and tech, so Kristi says it's vital to speak to the other parents. 

"What you consider unsafe (e.g. unsupervised internet, inappropriate movies, older siblings, being left home alone) may be seen as fine in another home. Assumptions are dangerous, ask the questions," she said. 

The level of supervision, or lack thereof, might be different from what happens at your house, too. 

"You're not just trusting the friend, kids are often in a home with siblings, step-parents, older cousins, or visitors," she explained. "Most abuse, over 90 per cent, is committed by someone known to the child and up to 50 per cent of sexual abuse is by another child."

"Sleepovers allow these people unrestricted and unsupervised access to your child," she added.

Yep, these absolutely horrifying statistics are enough to make you wonder why 'stanger danger' was ever the thing we were focused on.

So are our kids doomed for a life of only staying under our roof while we sleep with one eye open just in case? Well, not quite. 

Parent educator and mum-of-four, Gen Muir, says it's about making sure our kids are at an age when they're prepared and ready to stay over at a friend's house. That can be different for everyone.

"We want a child who's able to communicate and speak up if they have needs, if they felt uncomfortable, if they wanted to go home. So we really want language skills to be on board. And for me, like at age four, that is too young," she told Mamamia. 

"But once we get into primary school, it depends on your child's confidence, but it also depends on the other family. You might start with relatives, you might start with grandparents, and then you might lean into families that you know extremely well and that your child knows extremely well, so that they are comfortable, and you are comfortable that you've got all the agreed rules outside of that." 

How do you make sure your kids have a safe sleepover? 

Gen shared the steps she recommends every parent take before considering a sleepover. 

Body safety 

"You need to teach your kids about consent and body safety from a really young age. Use normal body part names and make sure you talk to them about what body safety looks like, what consent looks like, and make sure that they know they can always come to you with any problems."

Tricky people 

"You want to make sure your child knows how to speak up, that your child knows that they can call you absolutely with anything at any time, and even practice those skills. And also make sure that they know about tricky people and that there's nothing that they cannot tell you. That's really important."

Aligned values

"You want to be able to talk to the other family, make sure that the screen rules that are in place are in line with your values, and ask for what you need specifically to do. Inquire about what supervision will be available. That's an important question." 

Don't ignore your gut feeling

"In a lot of cases where we see things go wrong for kids, a parent will have had a bad feeling about that person. If someone is wanting to have a very close friendship with your child, if they're very, very interested in sleepovers, and it kind of feels like they're so enthusiastic about it, and your gut is saying that feels weird, you should absolutely trust your gut.

"But the most fundamental thing we can do is make sure that our kids know there is nothing that they could ever tell us that they've done or had done to them, or that they've said or had said to them, they would ever have us love them less."

Gen Muir is a Parent Educator, mum of four, and host of Mamamia's How To Build a Universe podcast. You can get Gen Muir's step-by-step training program on how to respond to sibling conflict here. Or find her on Instagram @connectedparentingau

You can read Kristi McVee's Guide to Sleepover Safety here.

Feature: Getty.