A very important investigation into why men get all the fun monster roles.

If you've ever found yourself sobbing over a fish-man romance or rooting for a man with scissors for hands, you might not have noticed something quite telling: men get all the best monster roles in Hollywood.

That's right. While scrolling through Netflix recently, I had a revelation. For decades, we've watched male characters transform into beasts, creatures, and monsters of all varieties — and we're supposed to love them for it. Meanwhile, women who don't meet beauty standards are relegated to cackling villain status.

Watch Tale As Old As Time from Beauty and the Beast. Article continues after video.

Exhibit A: The Beast. The Beast in Beauty and the Beast is literally a furry, fanged monster who imprisons a woman... but it's fine because he has a library! Then there's The Asset in The Shape of Water (mind you, I love this film) — a scaly fish-man who becomes the romantic lead and object of desire.

Not to mention Edward Scissorhands, a man with literal weapons for hands who's positioned as a misunderstood romantic hero. And let's not forget Haku in Spirited Away, a mysterious spirit who works for an evil witch but is ultimately sympathetic. Or The Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera — a disfigured man who kidnaps a woman, yet somehow we're meant to feel for his unrequited love. The evidence is plentiful. Frankenstein, Wolf Man, etc. etc. The list goes on.

The pattern is clear: male characters get to be physically monstrous while remaining emotionally complex, redeemable, and often downright desirable. They growl, they lurk, they occasionally kidnap women — but hey, they've got depth. And that's what matters.

Image: Disney

When women don't meet conventional beauty standards in film and TV, the story takes a dramatically different turn. Witches from the Wicked Witch of the West to the Sea Witch Ursula are portrayed as evil, jealous, and irredeemable. The Evil Stepmother or Queen trope gives us older women obsessed with beauty who inevitably become villains (looking at you, Snow White's stepmother). And poor Medusa — transformed into a monster as punishment and then slain as a hero's trophy.

The message couldn't be clearer if it were written in neon lights above a cinema: men can be physically monstrous, but they're still worthy of love and redemption. Women must remain beautiful to be considered protagonists worthy of a happy ending. God forbid a woman grows scales or fur — she's immediately banished to the villain category faster than you can say "double standard."

Image: Studio Ghibli

Occasionally, we do see exceptions to this frustrating pattern. Sophie in Howl's Moving Castle (AKA one of the best animated movies of all time) is transformed into an elderly woman yet remains our protagonist and love interest. Fiona in Shrek ultimately chooses to remain an ogre rather than conform to princess standards, though her transformation was originally played for laughs. And Dren in Splice, though this sci-fi horror presents a complex case, is a female creature given significant character development before things go... very wrong.

These exceptions are so rare they practically deserve their own endangered species classification. They're the cinematic equivalent of spotting a unicorn — theoretically possible but highly unlikely in your average Friday night movie marathon.

This pattern speaks volumes about how we view gender in society. Men are allowed to be valued for their personalities, redemption arcs, and emotional growth regardless of appearance. Women, meanwhile, are expected to maintain beauty standards while also developing those same complex personalities.

Image: Searchlight Pictures

It's the ultimate double standard: men can be hideous beasts and still get the girl, while women must be beautiful even when they're turning into dragons. The message is crystal clear — male monsters deserve love and understanding, while female monsters deserve pitchforks and fire.

Perhaps it's time Hollywood realised that women deserve monstrous, complex, redeemable roles too. After all, who wouldn't want to play a sympathetic sea creature or a misunderstood beast with a heart of gold?

Until then, we'll be here waiting — where a monstrous woman with a library captures a handsome village boy. Now that's a fairy tale worth telling. Though let's be honest, they'd probably still find a way to make her conventionally attractive, just with subtle fangs and perhaps a slightly concerning tail.

Heaven forbid we completely abandon beauty standards in the pursuit of character development.

Feature Image: Disney / Searchlight Pictures / Warner Bros. / Universal Pictures / 20th Century Studios.