'I quit being a manager after one year and it was the best career move I made.'

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Can I be real with you? This is a safe space, right? RIGHT? Okay good.

I'm about to get real honest with you about my career…

When I first got offered a management position, I thought I'd hit the career jackpot. I made it. All that work and I'd finally been gifted a leadership role. More money, more prestige, more respect from my family at dinner parties where they could finally understand what I actually do for a living (kinda). What could possibly go wrong?

Narrator voice: Everything went wrong.

The night before I officially became a manager, my mum took me out for dinner. Between sips of her wine, she dropped this absolute truth bomb on me: "Anyone can be a manager, but not everyone can be a leader."

Watch: From team member to manager. Post continues below.

At the time, I thought she was just being dramatic. Classic mum, right? But that statement hit harder than I expected — it should have been my first red flag.

The thing about becoming a manager is that no one really tells you how to actually be one. It requires a complete identity shift. And I, being the stubborn human that I am, was absolutely not willing to make that shift.

I missed my work friends. Not in a "oh, I wish we could grab lunch more often" way, but in a "why is everyone being weird around me now and treating me like I'm their boss instead of their bestie?" way. The dynamic had fundamentally changed and I wasn't prepared for how isolating that would feel.

But what really got to me was knowing what it felt like to have a terrible manager— the micromanager who breathes down your neck, the one who takes credit for your work, or the one who's so checked out they might as well be my ex-boyfriend. I'd experienced all of these delightful management styles throughout my career and the last thing I wanted was to become someone else's workplace horror story.

So there I was, desperately trying not to be a bad manager while simultaneously having no idea how to actually be a good one. Spoiler alert: it didn't go well.

Here's what I discovered about a year into my management stint: I was essentially doing two full-time jobs… badly. I was still trying to do all my original work (because workaholic tendencies die hard) while also attempting to manage people.

It resulted in my team not getting the leadership they deserved and me dealing with immense stress and burnout.

Listen to the author of this piece talk about how to navigate a managerial role on the BIZ podcast. Post continues below.

Management requires skills that don't just magically appear the moment you get the title. Delegation, feedback, coaching, conflict resolution — these aren't things you pick up overnight. And perhaps most importantly, you need to be comfortable with not having your fingerprints on every single detail.

The uncomfortable truth is that I realised management just wasn't for me. And you know what? That's completely okay.

I made the decision (with eager support from my company, I'm sure) to step back from the management role, which I won't lie — did slow down my career progression. In a world where "moving up" traditionally means managing people, choosing not to can feel like you're swimming against the current. But it was honestly one of the best career decisions I've ever made.

Here's what I wish someone had told me before I took that management position:

There are multiple ways to advance your career without becoming a manager.

You can become a subject-matter expert, a specialist, a consultant, or pursue leadership roles that don't involve people management. It might be harder to navigate, and it might require more creativity in how you position yourself, but it's absolutely possible.

The key is being brutally honest with yourself about what you actually want and what you're good at. Are you taking the management role because it genuinely excites you and plays to your strengths? Or are you taking it because it seems like the obvious next step and you don't want people to think you're not ambitious?

If you're considering a management position, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you genuinely want to spend your time developing other people instead of doing the work yourself?

• Are you comfortable being responsible for other people's performance and career development?

• Can you handle difficult conversations and conflict resolution?

• Are you prepared to potentially lose some friendships with colleagues?

If you answered no to any of these questions, that's not a character flaw — it's self-awareness. And self-awareness is far more valuable than a fancy new title that makes you miserable.

The irony is that by stepping back from management, I actually became a better leader (ego alert). I could mentor colleagues without the formal power dynamics, contribute to strategic decisions without the administrative burden, and focus on the work that actually energised me.

So here's my advice: don't let societal expectations or traditional career paths pressure you into a role that isn't right for you. There's no shame in knowing your strengths and playing to them. Trust me, your future self (and your potential team) will thank you for it.

If you want more from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: Supplied.