'Centre Stage is the greatest movie ever made. I'm deadly serious.'

Look, in my mind there is absolutely NO DEBATING that the 2000 ballet drama Centre Stage is the greatest dance movie of all time.

Nay, the greatest movie of all time.

And this magical film just turned 25! That's right, she's graduated from university, got herself a big gal job, and has probably accumulated more HECS debt dollars than there are hairs on Peter Gallagher's eyebrows (aka a lot).

Two decades on, this movie is simply still a masterpiece.

Watch the trailer. Post continues after video.

In case you were deprived of this cinematic genre-bender, Centre Stage is about a bunch of aspiring ballet dancers who get in to the renowned but hyper-competitive American Ballet Academy.

This movie has it all. Boys in tights! Girls who hate each other for no apparent reason! Rogue ballerinas who pelvis-thrust in the face of tradition and dance the sh*t out of it!

The cast was an eclectic mix of actors and non-actors, with a handful of ballet dancers in the cast, which added to the truly random and deeply '00s vibe of the film.

Facts! Image: Sony Pictures.

The soundtrack was also jam-packed with iconic hits from 2000s pop icons like Mandy Moore and Jamiroquai. A film of taste!

Our main gal is Jody Sawyer (aka actual ballerina Amanda Schull) who has natural talent (yay!) but bad feet (boo!).

She's joined at ABA by two friends/enemies, the feisty Eva Rodriguez (Zoe Saldaña in her breakout role) who is very good but miserable, and the class favourite, Maureen (Susan May Pratt), who is very good but miserable.

There are some other men in the class, but they're not very important… well, besides Charlie (Sascha Radetsky), who has a crush on his dance partner, Jody.

Charlie is a pasty, floppy man who could be knocked over by a strong breeze. But he's…. harmless and hetero?

Whatever! Fine!

He'll do! Image: Sony Pictures.

The school is run by Peter Gallagher and his eyebrows, as Jonathan, who is a bit of a downer. On their first day, he tells all these bright-eyed baby ballerinas that most will fail, and they need to "clarify their expectations."

On the teaching staff, he's joined by former dancer Juliette (Donna Murphy) and then there's our villain… Ballet prodigy Cooper Nielson aka the devil. He's played by actual dancer and primo ballerino, Ethan Stiefel.

This man! Jody strikes up a convo with him after going to one of his loose dance lessons outside of ABA, and she's hypnotised by his gyrating leg lifts and air-humping as he wears loose-fitting pants that defy gravity and my innocent eyeballs.

Who needs underwear when you're a BALLET STAR. Image: Sony Pictures.

Cooper takes Jody on a date, sleeps with her, then casts her in his ballet as the lead. Super-cool and ethical choices!

Then, just as she thinks they're dating (because they are), he freaks out and starts treating her like garbage.

Meanwhile, Eva and Maureen are NOT getting along because they're super-competitive with each other but equally talented.

This comes to a head when Maureen is cast as the lead in Jonathan's classic ballet, with Eva relegated to the back.

Meanwhile, Charlie and Jody are cast in Cooper's EDGY AND COOL ballet that's about SEX and DANGER.

Other movie highlights include the gang hitting up a salsa club or catching a ferry boat together, and my real life never being as fun as this.

The movie also indelicately attempting to tackle the prevalence of disordered eating amongst ballerinas. Spoiler: it's not great.

Another personal highlight was when a jealous Charlie figured out that Cooper was dating Jody so they had a fight through, umm, the mode of dance!

'Shall we take this dance battle to the streets?? Oh wait, different movie!' Image: Sony Pictures.

The entire film leads up to the big showcase and oh boy, sh*t is going down. After spending the movie truly bitter and miserable, sacrificing her dating life and her body for ballet, Maureen up and quits. She's donezo. Cya!

And you know who is ready to step in and magically knows all her choreography for no reason? Eva.

Thoughts and prayers to Maureen's actual understudy and Eva's original role in the show, but who cares because Eva is MAJESTIC.

Zoe Saldaña is the moment!

Avatar could never! Image: Sony Pictures.

Then it's time for Cooper's ballet, and he literally rides in on a goddamn motorbike. The world was never the same.

Then Jody and Cooper have what I can only describe as BALLET SEX which begins with Jody doing splits over Cooper's naked torso.

The way this moment truly SCANDALISED me as a teen.

Hide your eyes! Ballet sex is on! Image: Sony Pictures.

But wait, THE COSTUME CHANGE. The costume change that broke the space-time continuum.

The costume change that — to this day — still makes no sense.

Jody goes from pastel blue dress to red tutu with different hair, makeup and shoes in what appears to be 0.4 seconds.

HOW??? WHEN??? WHERE??? I've watched this scene 147 times and I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THE LOGISTICS.

The hair, especially!! That 'do would have taken two hours minimum to whip up! Jody, you sorcerer!

But that's just showbiz, baby! Image: Sony Pictures.

Whatever dark magic is invoked in this scene, I'm about it. I literally think about this dance at least once a day — it is my Roman Empire, if you will.

Do I still regularly perform Jody's full 'Canned Heat' dance in my living room? I'll keep my secrets!

After the show, everyone gets a happy ending except my brain, which is still trying to comprehend that costume change.

The real lesson? Pirouette away from trash men, befriend your enemies and never trust a ballerina on a motorcycle.

Feature image: Sony Pictures.