sports

Quick one: What is up with the women's water polo swimsuits?

Water polo players don’t get enough cred. I mean, have you ever tried treading water for 32 minutes, being clawed at, dunked underwater, passing/catching/shooting a ball, all while contending with a permanent wedgie?

I mean, have you seen the cossies they wear?

So tight. So small. So high riding.

We haven’t seen that kind of poolside get-up since the '80s. You know, the kind Christie Brinkley and Elle Macpherson used to swan around in.

The fashion world has (thankfully) moved on, meaning most of us don't feel obliged to subject ourselves to such invasive attire. Nor the extensive lady grooming that goes with it.


Australian Women's Water Polo player Bronte Halligan poses during an Australian 2024 Paris Olympic Games Water Polo Squad portrait session. Image: Getty.

But it's still well and truly the cut of choice for water polo players.

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And for good reason.

If you've ever seen a water polo match, you'll appreciate the chaos that goes on above the water. If you've ever played a water polo match, you'll know that is nothing compared to the Game of Thrones-level anarchy that happens underneath.

With so much going on during a match, it's wise to have as little as possible for your opponent to grab on to, as any loose/extra material only serves as a super handy handle for your opponent to snatch.

The fellas have got it easy, of course — budgie smugglers are about as scant as an outfit can get.

But the women have to rely on design: that means extra-durable fabric, as well as a solid back in place of regular straps. Most of them will also wear a suit two-to-three times smaller than normal to make it even tougher for their opponent to get their hands under the edges.

Australian Women's Water Polo player Abby Andrews. Image: Getty

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Even then, the suits still cop a beating.

But the high-cut thing. What about the high-cut thing?

Well, turns out that's all about having room to move, laterally.

Water polo players (and synchronised swimmers) do something called an egg-beater kick to tread water. This involves making constant, inward circles with each of your legs — basically mimicking the appliance after which the technique is named.

Any restriction around the top of the thighs would make this motion a hell of a lot more difficult than it already is (seriously, try it next time you're in a pool, the ocean or any deep body of water — it's tricky as f**k).

So, no. The female water polo swimsuits aren't designed by a leering, sexist dude. And no, the players aren't just suckers for punishment.

Well, maybe a little.

This article was originally published in August 2016 and has since been updated.

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