The 4 types of men you'll find in every season of The White Lotus.

If there's one thing The White Lotus does well (besides making me never want to stay at a luxury resort for fear of being killed for the money I do not have), it's nailing those specific types of men we've all encountered IRL.

Before you start screaming "not all men", I agree, not all, but definitely enough for there to be the exact same type of male trope in all three seasons.

If you think about it, The White Lotus basically did a "copy paste" of their leading men for the show's seasons so far. And we gobble it right up. Why ruin a good thing? Most of the men in the show are an exaggerated (hopefully) agglomeration of the worst guy we've ever known.

The finance bro who won't shut up about their investment portfolios.

The workaholic who checks his emails at dinner, talks loudly on the phone and makes a point to sigh whenever people try to have a conversation with them.

The rich kid who's never worked a day in his life but somehow has very strong opinions about "work ethic" and "grinding" and "protein."

Plus, many, many more.

Watch: The White Lotus season 3 trailer. Post continues below.

After watching all three seasons, I've noticed there are four types of men that keep popping up — and I'm convinced Mike White is secretly following me around and taking notes from my dating history.

The trust fund baby that needs to be humbled.

*Screams*

Every season has that one guy who makes you want to throw your phone at the TV. In season one we had Shane (Jake Lacy), the epitome of entitled rich boy energy who couldn't handle not getting the room he wanted and…. (spoilers) literally killed the hotel manager.

Then there was Cameron (Theo James) in season two, who somehow managed to make infidelity look even worse by basically getting away with it because he's hot and rich?

And now in season three, we've got Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) who is giving major "my dad will hear about this" vibes, which works great because, like Draco in Harry Potter, they both have the same dad.

He's basically every guy you've matched with on Hinge who listed his job as "entrepreneur" but actually just lives off his parents' money.

The dad who's definitely having a worse day than you.

Someone help these men.

You know that guy who's always "so busy" but somehow finds time to tell everyone how busy he is? Yeah, him. Season three's Timothy (Jason Isaacs) is giving big "let me take this call" energy — the kind of guy who probably has three phones and a smartwatch that's constantly buzzing with notifications, yet he isn't entirely sure how to use them.

He's cut from the same cloth as season one's Mark (Steve Zahn), who was too wrapped up in his own drama to notice literally anything else happening around him (including getting robbed in broad daylight). These are the guys who say they're "off the grid" on vacation but tell their families that they're still working because "someone has to pay the bills".

The Mid-Life Crisis Waiting to Happen.

*Insert existential dread here*.

Every season has one character who's one minor inconvenience away from a complete existential breakdown. This time it's Rick (Walton Goggins), who's basically what happens when you combine daddy issues with a partner half your age.

Rick would make an excellent companion to season two's Dominic (Michael Imperioli)— both men probably should have just invested in therapy instead of a five-star hotel stay.

I can imagine them sitting in silence and existential dread at dinner together. No words would be spoken, yet they would both say so much.

The Guy Who Might Actually Be Salvageable (probs not tho).

You can't convince me that these are three different people.

And then there's always that one younger guy who makes you think "okay, maybe there's hope." Season three's Lochlan (Sam Nivola) is following in the footsteps of season one's Quinn (Fred Hechinger) and season two's Albie (Adam DiMarco)— they're all giving "I just need someone to point me in the right direction" energy mixed with "untapped sexual confusion."

These are the guys who might actually learn something from their White Lotus stay, unlike literally everyone else who seems determined to leave the resort exactly as problematic as they arrived.

Watching all of these men slowly unravel in paradise is not only entertaining, it's also a reminder that no amount of luxury amenities can fix deeply ingrained character flaws (annoying for us poorly folks).

The genius of The White Lotus isn't just that it shows us these men — it's that it shows us these men in their natural habitat: a luxury resort where they think the rules don't apply to them (and it's true, the rules don't apply to them). It's basically a society and culture documentary, just with more expensive cocktails and significantly better interior design… and a murder.

The show is so uncomfortably good because of how familiar these characters feel. We've all met these guys. And yes, unfortunately, some of us have even dated them (guilty).

If you want more from Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: The White Lotus IMDB.

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