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The most common day of the year to break up is coming.

2023 has been the year of the breakup.

From Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness to Ariana Grande and Dalton Gomez and Sofía Vergara and Joe Manganiello to Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner. The celebrities were really going through it.

But brace yourself, because more are coming. And those of us who are *not* capable of winning the breakup via a perfectly coordinated pap walk with the world's biggest popstar are also at risk.

Watch: the horoscopes when going through a breakup. Post continues below video.


Video via Mamamia.

According to data, December 11 – yes, two weeks before Christmas and uh, just days away – is the most common day for breakups.

This date initially came out a few years ago from researchers analysing Facebook data, which means it is definitely flawed in the year 2023. These days, it might just be the day all our aunts who still use Facebook regularly announce their breakups. The rest of us are more inclined to post a pointed quote or lyric to Instagram without explanation.

But the theories of why separations reach a fever pitch in early- to mid-December make a lot of sense. 

This December period is, more broadly, known as 'breakup season'. 

On the bright side, if you and your partner make it through the particularly treacherous next week, you're good for the big day because the least amount of breakups happen on Christmas Day. No one wants to be crying into their ham.

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Psychotherapist and relationship expert Lissy Abrahams told Mamamia this time period can lead to increased tension because of all the stress that comes along with it, whether that's emotional stress or financial stress, or even just the idea of how much time will be spent together (and with in-laws).

"If couples have difficulties like conflict, blame, lack of liveliness, or parenting tension, these holiday weeks can feel uncomfortable and even confronting," Abrahams explained. 

"If they're not excited to have time off together it can also leave them with the question - why not? Often they lay all the blame with their partner without looking within for their own contribution to the relationship's stagnation."

Maybe you've been having concerns for a while, but the craziness of December – or the idea of kissing this person to welcome in a new year of dreams and opportunity –  might just put everything into perspective and solidify your decision.

"The new year symbolises a fresh start for many people so they look into the near future and ask 'Do I really want you in my new year chapter?'" Abrahams said. If the answer is 'no', well, that may spell the end.

If you don't want to go through a breakup, Abrahams has some advice.

"Make time to communicate so you both have a shared understanding and expectations for the holiday as this will alleviate stress," she said.

This could mean creating and agreeing upon a holiday budget, prioritising relationship moments even during the busy period, standing in your partner's shoes to understand their POV or making a commitment for the new year, like date nights or therapy.

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And if you do find yourself experiencing a relationship breakdown, Abrahams said it's okay to feel all the feelings.

"Allow yourself to feel sad without using unhealthy coping strategies like drinking alcohol, gambling or controlling food. The emotions will pass through you, so don't be afraid of the sadness," she said.

You should also lean on support systems, and be conscious of your mindset during this inherently messy time of year.

"Assess any areas where you contributed to the relationship breakdown — taking some responsibility stops you feeling victim-like and allows you greater agency," Abrahams explained.

"Learn about your ego and how it operates when you feel sad, angry, or overwhelmed. Your ego will want to create stories of either victim-hood or superiority, these serve no good purpose.

"Seek support within your wise community, however make sure you don’t surround yourself with people fuelling drama or making you feel worse."

And you can always use this time of year to inspire you as well. There's truth in cliche, after all.

"Imagine yourself in the future starting a new chapter that you’ve always wanted but haven't been able to achieve," Abrahams advised.

New Year, new you indeed.

Feature image: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

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