Dear Ralph by Ralph Lauren: It’s over. I’m breaking up with you. I’m sorry – it’s not you, it’s me.
I fell in love with your pretty blue bottle, your fresh scent and your price tag when I was 14. It was Year 9 and wearing designer perfume rather than Impulse was a super cool thing to do. In the years since, despite brief dalliances with Marc Jacobs (Daisy and Lola – I know, I know) and even Britney Spears, you’ve always been my favourite. My soul mate. My signature scent. I even remember getting panicky when I heard a rumour that you were being discontinued (never happened, thank goodness).
But now? I think it’s time to move on to more sophisticated scents. I’m just not that 14-year-old high school girl anymore, and although it’s been six incredible years, we now seem to have grown apart.
While I might always have a half-empty bottle of you sitting on my shelf (for sentimental purposes only), I need a change – I’m going to have to find a different signature scent to see me through the next few years.
Maybe Chanel? Burberry? Sarah Jessica Parker?
Yours in spritzy goodness,
Nat
P.S. My colleague Lucy is also trying to break up with her beloved Kylie Minogue – they’ve been going out for five whole years, she even stockpiled bottles when it stopped being sold instore – so maybe the two of you can hang out and eat ice-cream together, or whatever it is you perfumes do. I’ll pass on your number.
What’s your signature scent and how long has it been yours?