Eight things your nanny thinks, but will never tell you.

One nanny shares the secrets of the trade…including the fact that they sometimes peek in your wardrobe.

In movies the nanny is usually brunette, has a foreign accent, wears denim shorts and breaks up marriages.

My experience, whilst not as scandalous, has been as interesting.

I have been a nanny for the past eight years. I am a master of the five vegetable-bolognaise and a whip-fast nappy changer,  I started my career at 13 (I’m still unsure of how I talked myself into a job at that age) and I have been lucky enough to work for some wonderful families.

I loved it.

The majority of the time, the job went swimmingly, and I spent many hours blowing raspberries on soft bellies, building train tracks (another one of my strengths) and playing dress ups. Sometimes it wasn’t all roses and lollipops. Just like I imagine parenting, sometimes it was hard.

Like that time it was 2am and I had 3 children crying and sick (and one adult crying, too). But hey, that life we have, it sure is a package - you get the yin with the yang, the good and the bad.

Wouldn’t it be great for once, to know what us nannies are thinking while we are looking after your kids? To know what is really going on in our mind when we are cooking fish fingers?

Luckily, I have you covered.

Here are eight things us nannies want to say to all the parents out there, but have never really had the time or chance to do so.

1. We do love them (your kids/cheeky terrors), actually.

And it doesn’t just end when we leave through the door to go home and have a glass (or 10) of wine. Parents, you can be safe to know that those smiles we have when we cuddle your children are real. Those laughs we have during bath time aren’t forced either.

We care about them and genuinely feel bad when they fall over on the footpath (again).

2. We have looked in your wardrobe.

Sorry! We can’t help it - we are curious beings. But, we treat your possessions with the respect and attitude you would have in an antique shop - touch it and you’re dead. [Editor's note: antiques? Really! Now I feel old.]

So we don’t. But, we will say you do have nice things.

3. We really appreciate it when you leave us to look after the kids and don’t hover over us, micro manage or argue with what we say.

You hired us for a reason. To look after, care and help your kids. We will try and do this to the best of our ability. We know you are nervous to leave them with us. But the only way this can work is that you have complete trust in us from day one.

4. We are not judging you for your food choices.

Honestly. It is your life, your family and your children. You don’t need to apologise for giving your kids chips for afternoon tea.

Though like you, we want the best for them and will continue to sneak in some veggies when we can. That’s what we are here for, to be the helping hand! Hoorah, that’s why you hired a nanny! Make us cook home-made lasagna.

USE US.

5. Being a nanny is the best contraception.

We mean this is the nicest possible way.

We see how hard it is. We see that there is never anyone high fiving you at the end of the day for all your work. We see the love and passion, and the exhaustion.

We also see that having a family is nothing like Blake Lively’s Instagram feed. We see that raising children comes with a whole range of emotions, colours, challenges and adventures.

We salute you.

6. Please don’t say we have got an “easy job”, and that being a nanny is a “walk in the park".

We washed your children. Cooked them dinner. Folded the clothes. Read books to them. Put them down. Took them to the toilet. Read them a book, again.

After all that, we sit down and gosh it feels good. We work hard, us nannies. So please don’t make us feel bad for taking our pay. Or we may not come back (we will though, because your kids are too cute).

7. One day we hope to be as good a mother as you are.  

Really, you may not see it at times, or give yourself the credit you deserve, but you're killing it. And we admire you very much. We even feel quite fond of you.

Though if you see above (point number 5) we won’t be following anytime soon. We are learning from you, and will one day put into practice all the things we learnt with your family. So, thank you!

8. One final thing we would like to say to you but don’t...

Just like we never forget the times we had with our own nannies, we won’t forget the times we had with your family, too. There’s a lot of love there, still all these years on.

Want more? Try this:

The seven questions no mum should ever be asked.

All your babysitting questions answered.