What it's really like to be a male midwife.

Would you be surprised if you were joined in the delivery room by a male midwife?

Jean Laurilla has worked as a midwife at Sunshine Hospital for ten years and laughingly refers to himself as a “delivery boy”. His experience is an enlightening case study into the way gender is still seen as important in some careers.

Jean revealed some of the difficulties he had as a student midwife, saying “I was assigned to a Sudanese woman who was in labour, and she looked at me and asked me, “How would you be able to take care of me when you yourself haven’t had a baby?” So the interpreter told me that, and I was a bit embarrassed. She was right. But in hindsight, pain is pain; pain is universal. I try to imagine the worst pain that you can possibly experience; I try my very best to be sympathetic with these labouring women.”

Similarly, when he was still studying to be a qualified midwife (and was the only male in the whole course), he had to care for a certain number of patients to pass his degree. This proved difficult, as women were reluctant to have him present at their births. “The reception of a male student looking after pregnant women was not very good. See, when I was studying, you have to attend 40 births, and out of those 40 women that I recruited, only one called me for the birth,” Jean remembered.

Even now, a decade into his time at Sunshine hospital, some patients and their families flinch at having Jean care for them. “A bad experience is when the husband looks at you and asks you to get out because he doesn’t want a male midwife examining his wife.” Jean says sadly.

He believes this is because of the assumptions people make about him, and what it means for men to be in his profession. When asked about the reaction he sometimes gets, he says, “They’re quite surprised at finding out that I’m a midwife. I think they assume that it’s very unusual for a male to be in a female-dominated field, that it’s just weird, you know? Dealing with female private parts at birth and women in general.”

But many labouring women and their partners are very positive about Jean, and his compassionate and warm style of care, perhaps seeing the irrelevance of gender in the role. After all, few people baulk at a male obstetrician, so why the horror at a male midwife? Is it more to do with traditionally “caring” jobs still being seen as inherently female, such as midwifery, nannying and child care, and men coming into those domains being viewed with suspicion? Perhaps.

Jean admits that people assume he is a doctor as opposed to a midwife, and stumble to comprehend how a male can even have such a title (how can a male have a job title involving the word ‘wife’?!). Yet as Jean correctly points out “For centuries, midwives were female, but the word ‘midwife’ actually means ‘with women’, so it doesn’t particularly pertain to the sex of the caregiver”.

But as kind and considerate a midwife as Jean is, empathy can only stretch so far. When we asked him if he ever wished he could give birth so he could truly identify with what his patients went through, he burst out laughing, “Is that a trick question? To be honest, no. God no! If God would punish me, probably that would be my punishment.”

I think Jean might be echoing the sentiment of many a male partner who’s been in that delivery room, too.

Click through the gallery below for fascinating photos of half-born babies.

This story is part of a Radio National interview conducted by Susan Carland for the ‘Assumptions’ program. You can download the podcast by clicking here.

Did you have a male midwife? If so – did you mind? 

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