"Today, we remember the mothers whose children are not here."

For many women, today is a time to celebrate. But for some, it’s a painful reminder of what they have lost.

For Shelley Lamond, 39, Mothers’ Day is bittersweet.

Ms Lamond and her husband Rick, who live in a farm north of Adelaide, have lost nine pregnancies over four years, including the loss of four daughters to stillbirth  — and like thousands of other Australian women who have lost a child, the constant stream of cutesy Mothers’ Day advertising just serves as a reminder of what’s missing.

“For me, it’s a bittersweet day,” she says. “I do have my own children here on earth to hold, but I wish the others were here in my arms as well. I miss them immensely.”

What makes it even harder to bear is the fact that two of the girls she lost were born in May, around the same time of Mothers’ Day — and, indeed, that she’s been in hospital for the last two Mothers’ Days after a pre-term membrane rupture.

Sadly on both occasions, Ms Lamond’s my precious baby died only weeks later.

“I got admitted a couple of weeks ago with a bacterial blood infection, and there’s just some other complications surrounding the pregnancy  (including) some problems with the placenta,” she explains.

“Where we live is an hour or so from hospital, so the doctors just feel that it’s better here.”

She’s hoping Rick and her children will be able to visit and take her to lunch at a local cafe, which she says will mean “a great deal”.

“When I lost my first baby I became aware of Pregnancy Loss Australia and they’ve got a Facebook page going,” she says. “And I’ve actually made some friends who’ve come to visit me in hospital, I have actually built some really lovely friendships.”

She doesn’t feel in a position to give advice to other women dealing with loss today because “there’s nothing they could say to make the pain go away,” she says.

“You can say, ‘keep positive, do this, do that, but really there’s nothing that could take it away for them,” she says.

“I do feel for a lot of mothers who haven’t got any children here on earth, how it must feel for them to have it splashed around, the cards, adverts on TV- you can’t really escape it.”

But she does have some advice for readers who know someone struggling with loss today: she asks them to keep in mind “just that Mother’s Day isn’t the same for everyone”.

“Acknowledge those mothers who don’t have children here; acknowledge that they are mothers, its just that their babies aren’t here on earth walking around with them,” she urges.

“A lot of people don’t want to upset you, so they don’t mention (the lost babies). But I think when someone mentions my children’s name that’s not here, its upsetting but its nice to hear as well.

“Because the thought of them being forgotten by the world is just awful.”

A poem for Mothers’ Day, via Pregnancy Loss Australia:

Related content:

The lie I tell every time someone asks: ‘How many children do you have?’

Mother’s Day: When joy becomes a reminder of pain.

This mother’s day, let’s recognise all mothers.

For every woman feeling melancholy about the Royal Baby news.

Let’s get miscarriage and stillbirth out in the open.

Pregnancy Loss Australia provides support to grieving families in the form of counselling, support groups and online groups as well as the loan of the Cuddle Cot. You can contact the organisation here.