"I recognise the enormous privilege of this confession." What it's like to celebrate Father's Day with three dads.

Admittedly, I am not one who engages with the annual tradition of celebrating Father's Day. The Father's Day grinch some might suggest. There are a couple of reasons behind this decision.

First, is the overly commercialised nature of the occasion. If I'm not taking my parents to a gourmet lunch with a cute Instagram snap, do I love or appreciate them any less?

Alas, I am not here to judge how we express love. Whether it's spending quality time, showering with gifts, hugs or acts of service – all are valid. (This world could use a little more love.)

Watch: Happy Father's Day from Mamamia! Story continues after video.

Another reason is that I have three dads, and today is often a strong reminder of my complex family dynamic. I am very aware one father is enough – and in my case; it took a village to raise me.

Luckily for me though, another (more comfortable) form of expressing love is through words of affirmation. 

I feel it appropriate to begin with a dedicated appreciation of the first father I grew to know. My namesake. He passed away last year and taught me many lessons on entrepreneurship, using olive oil with butter (to keep it from burning) and how to rock footy shorts in summer and winter. Sending you love, and thanking you for your service, always.

Then there's the father who raised me. While not blood-related, or connected by name, this man stood by my side since I was two years old. Not an easy feat when you are a child with diverse interests and phases: child-acting, sports, debating and public speaking, and having friends that live nowhere near you in Sydney. My chauffeur: the creative director that helped me finish assignments to a high standard without credit, the therapist who listened and advised without judgement.

Last is the father who found me, my biological father. A man that I am still getting to know and to understand – but love nonetheless. He lives in Spain, so it's not always easy to connect (particularly when there are strict border lockdowns). A father who shows up one hour early; tells you when you eat too much but then plates you up another dish and the man whose traits I have inherited. Seeing myself in him has allowed me to firmly place my roots in the ground.

I recognise the enormous privilege of this confession – especially for those who have been unable to grow up with a father figure.

My recollection does not reflect the nuance of being the son of men of different cultural backgrounds and psychological persuasions. It omits periods of silence, pain, trauma and... the tears. I acknowledge that makes this less authentic; romanticising some aspects of my relationships without articulating more turbulent moments. But there are some memories only we will remember, privately. Memories that have influenced me as much as the positive experiences.

While there might not be a fancy meal, or a platter of gifts that symbolise "dad" (a gentle reminder that Victoria Bitter's new line of 'Thirst' body fragrance exists), these are my words. Very public words that come from an utterly grateful heart – to have grown up, and grown with, three men. To have been able to express love because of theirs.

Although an unorthodox approach to a Father's Day tribute, there's one significant person I would like to attribute my introduction to these men to - my mother.

A very happy parental-figure day to you and yours; past, present and future. Whether you celebrate this day, or not, for whatever reason, please take solace in the fact that this will be a first (and likely last) for me.

Adam Abbasi-Sacca is a freelance writer and has a background in policy and international relations. He is passionate about sharing stories on current affairs, culture and identity. Contact on Instagram via @adamabbasi_ or Twitter @ adamabbasisacca.

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Feature Image: Getty.

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