Yiling Chen is a software engineer by day, and an exotic dancer by night. Here, she writes about breaking the stereotype, and the best compliment she’s ever received.
I am shy at heart. Talking to strangers is a daunting task for me. By working at a night club I inadvertently created a situation which pushes me to talk to people.
So I have talked to a lot of people, all kinds of people, people I would have never talked to outside of this unique setting.
Usually, I find ways to learn about their life. Occasionally, they are interested in mine.
For the first couple of times I was inquired about my personal life, I gave BS answers:
“I quit my biology research job. I am working as a contractor for a tech company. My job doesn’t pay well, and I am looking for a new opportunity. In the meantime, I’m doing this to make ends meet.”
I stopped lying when a friend asked me the simplest yet extremely powerful question: “why?”
Looking back, I cringe a little every time I think about why I lied.
I lied because I didn’t want people to think I was crazy. I know if I told the truth, the first question they’ll ask me is “why on earth are you here?”
Culture has influenced us to have such a narrow-minded thinking when it comes to exotic dancing. I didn’t expect anyone to believe that the only reason I was there was to “explore and to have fun.”
However, by lying, I fed exactly into the stereotype.
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