rogue

Allow us to explain the 'fully conscious baby.'

Pour yourself a cup of tea and get comfy, because this might just be the most absurd story you read all week.

It started with an eight second clip posted to TikTok.

A mum (behind the camera), asks her partner and their two daughters; "I have a question for everybody. Who wants to go to the Four Seasons Orlando?"

The eldest daughter — who looks about four — squeals "meeeee" while the youngest, who on first glance looks no older than one, puts her finger in the air and also yells loudly and clearly, "meee."

@sobrizzle If the @Four Seasons Hotels ♬ original sound - Stefanie O’Brien

"If the @Four Seasons Hotels is looking for a baby ambassador my niece got you," reads the caption. 

The video was posted a week and a half ago. It now has 56.5 million views.

56 MILLION. That is absurd, and we are obsessed.

The internet has dubbed the little girl the 'fully conscious baby' because she simply seems too young to be so... smart.

Think Family Guy's Stewie Griffin; an adult in baby form.

TikTok is now full of stitches to this effect, and we simply can't look away. To save you getting lost down the hole, allow us to share a few that made us giggle:

@aivideolab 👶 #fullyconsciousbaby #fourseasonsorlando #me #aivideolab ♬ Fully Conscious Baby - AiVideoLab
@hookjin.ended_ dont even try to hide it boss baby 🙄🙄 #baby #fourseasons #orlando #fourseasonsorlando #bossbaby #alien #fullyconscious #science #aware #fyp #fypシ゚viral #viralbaby ♬ queen of disaster with sparkles - ˚ ˚。° ⋆♡˚🎀 ꒰ ྀི ◞ ˕ ก ꒱ ⭐️
@_iliyana What else does this fully conscious baby do around the house?? 😂🧐 @@imjustchas △⃒⃘@@Tata⚔️##fourseasonsorlando##consciousbaby##viralbaby##grownbaby##funnyvideos##viraltiktok ♬ original sound - iliyana

Then people started sharing their fully conscious baby stories.

Like this:

@mmarkroberts

conscious babies need to be studied — im thinkin boss baby wasnt too far off

♬ original sound - Mark Roberts

And this:

@br3_0nna #pandemicbaby #babytalking #babytok #smartbaby #fyp #fypage ♬ original sound - Bre Onna

As the OG video went viral, journalists tracked down the family and PEOPLE published an "exclusive" with the parents. (This detail also makes me chuckle?!)

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Finally, we learnt some facts. The family is from Tampa. The little girl's name is Kate. She's 13 months old.

"She won't say 'me!' to everything," her dad William explained. "It legitimately has to be something she recognises and wants to do. She's been to the Four Seasons before. She does recognise certain things, and she does [say] 'me!'"

Then, Kate appeared in a TV interview with ABC News.

You can watch it here:


Video via TikTok

Sitting there with her smiling parents, the anchor asks Kate again, "Who wants to go to the Four Seasons Orlando?"

On cue, baby Kate raises her hand and says "me," thus proving herself to be fully conscious.

We've since learnt that Kate did very much enjoy the Four Seasons Orlando. Her auntie posted the update we all needed:

@sobrizzle Think it’s a yes on the gold truffle pasta ☝️🍝✨ #FourSeasonsBaby #FourSeasonsOrlando ♬ Me Too - Meghan Trainor

It's only been up a day, and at the time of writing already has eight million views. The little suit. The champagne. The crackling fire. Honestly, chefs kiss — very funny.

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As is always the case when silly stories go viral, some have tried to explain away Kate's behaviour to which we simply say shhhh. Let us have this, please.

Dr Katie Sommer, a development psychology PhD points out, pointing and reacting to questions is "pro-typical behaviour of infants around that age," and yes, sure. BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT. 

@drkristynsommer The full conscious baby is fully normal and so is your baby! (Although, fully conscious baby appears to be closer to a fully conscious toddler) #fullyconsciousbaby #fourseasonsbaby ♬ Bridgerton - The Harmony Group

Truthfully, it's hard to explain why Kate is so conscious. It's the active listening. It's the perfect pronunciation. It's the little delicate finger point in the air. It's the enormous bow on her bald head when she repeats the same response in the ABC interview.

It's all absurd, and that's why we all can't get enough.

The fact that this eight second video has nearly double the entire population of Australia in views is sending us. 

Of course there are more important things we should be viewing. Of course this is pure silliness.

But honestly, sometimes a bunch of strangers need to come together and revel in the very specific humour of a fully conscious baby when the world is as dark as it currently is.

And Four Seasons Orlando's PR team...you can retire now, you'll never outdo this.

Do you have a 'fully conscious baby'? Tell us in the comments section below.

Feature image: TikTok.

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