The 5 squirting myths that are ruining women's sex lives.

If you want to support independent women's media, become a Mamamia subscriber . Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.

There's nothing I love more than hearing women embrace their sexuality, so when I read the Mamamia piece on women's personal journey to "squirting" in the bedroom, I let out an audible woop.

But, as someone who specialises in pelvic floor and sexology, I have some things I'd like to clear up.

There are still some lingering myths around the way our bodies work. And, whether we call it lack of education or we blame the patriarchy, it's time we bust 'em.

Watch: In this episode of Well, we're answering all your questions about 'down there'. Post continues below.

It's 2025 and women are still faking orgasms, scared they're about to urinate in the bedroom, confused about their anatomy and being dismissed by clinicians.

So, let's fact-check together and give you some fodder to tell the team at your next trivia night.

Myth 1: 'If I feel like I need to wee during sex, something is wrong.'

Ooft, if I had a penny every time I hear this? Well, I wouldn't be rich (because, #CostOfLiving), but I'd be carrying a very heavy tote bag.

The truth?

Your bladder, urethra, clitoris and anterior vaginal wall are all close neighbours and during arousal they get an increase in blood flow and pressure. The clitoral complex becomes swollen, and the pelvic floor engages or tightens. These tissues can compress the bladder's neck, which mimics that feeling of needing to do a wee. This is all totally normal.

What's not normal is what so many women do next. They freak out (thinking they're about to pee), clench their pelvic floor, pull away and shut the entire orgasmic response.

And then, over time, that pattern can turn into a conditioned orgasm difficulty (aka no one-way ticket to orgasm-land for you).

Although the urethra is the highway for both urine and ejaculate to exit the body, the fluid released during squirting is not the same as urine.

Research shows that "squirting fluid" is a mix of diluted secretions from the Skene's glands (the female prostate), bladder-derived fluid and plasma-like components. This concoction of chemicals gets released in response to intense arousal and stimulation.

Yes, trace amounts of urinary markers can appear in female ejaculate, but guess what? Male semen can also contain trace urinary components and also exits the body from the urethra. The composition, smell, colour and function of ejaculate are different to that of urine. Yes — coital incontinence is a thing (and CAN be treated), but squirting is not incontinence, it's not accidental urination, and it's not a sign something is wrong.

Listen: We need to chat about squirting. Post continues below.

Myth 2: 'Maybe it's vaginal squirting.'

There's no such thing as vaginal squirting — it's just not anatomically possible.

All high-volume expulsions, whether you call it squirting, gushing, flooding or female ejaculation, come from the urethra, not the vagina.

Studies using ultrasound, dye markers and catheterisation consistently show that the bladder and periurethral glands (Skene's glands) are the key players in the production or expulsion of fluid during arousal and orgasm. Nothing about that is "vaginal."

Let's start using correct anatomical terms. Your vulva is the entire region from your pubic bone to the perineum (just before your anus). It includes the opening of the vagina, the opening of the urethra, the clitoris and your labia. Your vagina is the canal.

Your vulva and your vagina are not the same thing.

Myth 3: 'Squirting is an anatomical issue.'

This one's half right. It's anatomical. It's not an issue.

The number of times I hear women saying "squirting is just wee" or "you need to see a pelvic floor specialist" is wild. We need to stop perpetuating stigma, shame and myths around female pleasure.

Ejaculate comes out of the urethra in women, the same way semen comes out of the urethra in men. Both fluids can contain trace amounts of urinary components. That doesn't make it urine.

We don't shame men for urinary traces in semen or tell them their ejaculate is the result of an "anatomical issue."

Myth 4: 'Squirters have a weak pelvic floor.'

Nope.

Research consistently shows that fluid expulsion during sexual arousal is driven by urethral and paraurethral gland activity, strong autonomic arousal, increased blood flow and rhythmic pelvic floor contractions.

What it's not driven by is pelvic floor muscle weakness.

In fact, studies show that many individuals who squirt demonstrate stronger-than-average pelvic floor strength, because orgasm and expulsion require coordinated contraction and relaxation of the pelvic floor. Squirting can be a sign of responsiveness, not weakness.

Myth 5: "All women have the ability to squirt"

This is a myth, but don't let it stop you from trying (in the words of Aaliyah, if at first you don't succeed…)

There are so many anatomical variations in our makeup. The ability to squirt relies on the Skene's glands (aka the 'female prostate') and surrounding periurethral tissue, but studies show that we all have significant differences in the size, duct structure and functional capacity — so some of us have larger glands that express fluid easily, while some have smaller ones that don't produce noticeable amounts of fluid.

On top of this, squirting fluid relies on hydration, pelvic floor engagement, arousal pressure and timing and is influenced by the technique of the partner (or yourself) and emotional safety.

The most important thing to remember is that squirting is a variation of the female pleasure experience. Some women experience it during strong contractions of orgasm, while others don't.

My hot tip?

Drink loads of water, pee before you get started, use a toy — or get your partner to make a "come here" motion with their index finger in the vagina and just have fun.

For more from Heather Foord, you can follow her on Instagram, here.

Feature image: Canva.