'Four years ago, I decided to marry myself. Here's everything you're afraid to ask me.'

"I vow to remember that I am responsible for my own happiness and to practise loving kindness and compassion towards myself.

"I vow to see the best in myself even when I'm feeling down on myself, feeling conflicted and doubtful.

"I vow to open my heart and blanket myself with self-acceptance for all those parts of me that I disown and don't like."

These were some of the vows Robbie made on the day she decided to marry herself.

After the breakdown of her 20-year relationship, which blessed her with three children, Robbie found herself "searching for someone, and it just didn't happen".

"It was the culmination of a lot of bad dating experiences," Robbie told Mamamia.

"I got quite depressed and was diagnosed with anticipatory grief. It was that grief of, if I never find somebody, who's going to be my person? Who will I spend the rest of my life with?"

Robbie, now 59, began counselling, and practising gratitude. Then she had a revelation.

"I discovered the problem; it was that I didn't love myself. I had spent my entire life looking to others to validate my self-worth. But when I learnt to love myself, that feeling of 'Oh, I must find someone' just went away."

Watch: The ultimate six-minute self-love meditation. Post continues after video.

The decision to marry herself came after a conversation with her sister.

"I just said to her, 'You know what, I should just marry myself'. And she said to me, 'What a great idea, why don't you?'"

As a wedding celebrant of 15 years, Robbie knew a lot about marriage. But she didn't know much about sologamy — the act of self-marriage. So she did some research. And, in 2021, she sealed the deal.

"The ceremony was in my garden at home. I invited four of my friends and my daughters. I organised my own cake. And then, afterwards, we had some champagne and nibbles," Robbie shared, explaining that the ceremony fell right before the COVID lockdowns came into effect.

"I did my vows in a full-length mirror. I bought myself a gold ring, which I keep on my pinky, like a pinky promise. I wear it all the time. If I'm having a bad day or feeling a bit down, sometimes I'll twiddle it with the other hand, and I think back to that day, and I just feel so empowered and so happy."

The following year, when Victoria was out of lockdown, Robbie took herself to Port Douglas for her "honeymoon", and every year she marks the anniversary.

But while her loved ones are on board with Robbie's self-marriage, it has taken a little time to process.

"My mother thought I was mad," said the 59-year-old.

"She didn't come to my ceremony, but that's fine, she's in her 80s. She is my biggest supporter now. She doesn't really get it, but she can see that I'm really happy."

Some friends were also taken aback, with one asking Robbie, "'What happens if you meet somebody? Do you have to divorce yourself?'"

The answer is no, she doesn't.

"In Australia, to be legally married, you have to marry somebody else," Robbie explained. "Self-marriage is not illegal, but there's nothing legal about it — it's purely symbolic."

It definitely cuts down the paperwork if Robbie is to find someone — a possibility she hasn't entirely dismissed.

"Never say never," said the sologamist. "I don't believe in shutting the door to anything in life, really. But I'm really happy living as a solo, so it would have to be somebody super special.

"What I have discovered is that I was hanging on to relationships for a long time after the red flags had popped up, simply because I was seeking validation of my self-worth. But now that I've learnt to love myself, I don't seek that anymore. 

"Having said that, if someone came along, why not? But, if I don't meet anybody ever again, that's fine."

Not long after marrying herself, Robbie was empowered to offer similar ceremonies to others. So far, she has only officiated a handful of self-marriages, all of them overseas.

"Sologamy is virtually unheard of in Australia. Most people don't know what it is, and they give me a blank look, so I have to explain it. I would love to marry somebody local, it'd be wonderful," she said.

"The people I've talked to who have self-married, it usually follows a fairly significant time in their lives. It's just that realisation, and they want to celebrate their growth through it all."

Of course, there have been naysayers along the way.

"Some people think it's stupid," she said.

"The biggest misconception is that it's narcissistic, but it's not. A person who is narcissistic doesn't have any self-worth at all. They say and do things to others in order to make themselves feel better and to boost their own self-worth, but they don't actually truly love themselves. So it's a silly argument."

For Robbie, she believes the negativity comes from a place of ignorance.

"Some people have said to me, 'Well, that's fine, you can love yourself and everything, but why do you have to have a ceremony?' Well, I could say the same thing about couples. 'Why have the dress and the flowers and spend $30,000 on your wedding?'"

Regardless of the noise, "I am proud to call myself a sologamist," shared Robbie.

"For so many years, I just thought I had to find somebody. I felt desperate, internally. Now, I've done a complete 180. But I think this is how it was always meant to be. I'm single at heart.

"I think that the most important relationship that we have in our lives is the one that we have with ourselves. There is a lot of pressure on people, particularly women, to get married and be in a relationship.

"But the fact is, [being] happy on our own — I think that's a prerequisite to a successful, happy relationship. So, why not celebrate ourselves in whatever way we wish to?"

You can learn more about Robbie and her sologamy ceremonies here.

Feature Image: Supplied/@soulchildphotographyaustralia.