'Everyone seems to be quitting drinking. Here's why I've decided to be sober-flexible.'

What's a Saturday night out in Australia without booze? Until recently I wouldn't have been able to tell you. However, now I'm one of those preachy people doing Dry July.

I really thought that at this point in the month I would be dreaming of wine and seeking substitutes for it, but instead, taking a break from alcohol has made me realise that I don't really want to drink anymore, and that instead I want to lead a "sober-flexible" lifestyle.

I'm not the only one who's feeling this way either. Ever since I decided not to drink for a few weeks, initially just in a bid to raise money for charity*, I have been in chats with many friends, family members and even acquaintances about their decision to drastically decrease their drinking, Dry July or otherwise.

Watch: Here are just some of the effects after one year without drinking alcohol. Post continues after video.

I have always had a complicated relationship with alcohol and have witnessed a lot of alcoholism up close throughout my life. As a child and adolescent I saw certain adults around me lose their power, their cool, their ability to care for me, all because they'd had too much to drink. Then, as a teenager and uni student, I binge drank like it was going out of fashion. Back then I thought that blacking out, or even just making a fool of myself, was funny (even though inside it made me feel rotten) and that as a result I was a "fun drunk".

In my 20s, I found that too many glasses of wine would sometimes lead me to squabbling unnecessarily with friends, partners or even strangers. In fact, some of the worst experiences of my life have happened thanks to too much booze: questionable sexual encounters, deeply embarrassing moments and general faux pas I still regret. Not to mentions hangovers suck.

Which begs the question, why even drink at all?

In Australia (and New Zealand, where I'm from) excessive drinking is completely acceptable, to the point where you're deemed boring or weird if you don't drink. Because of its social acceptability it has become a crutch for many of us - everyone knows that temporary relief a glass of wine gives after a taxing day or stressful moment.

Yet what comes next? After that glass of wine, you have another, and another, maybe even another. After that it's likely you'll experience more anxiety, more stress, poor sleep, and become more irritable, all because you've essentially put too much delicious poison into your system yet again.

Up until only a few weeks ago I too had the habit of weeknight wines, paired with a few more wines or cocktails on the weekend. I thought this was normal - because it is normal - not to mention fun, fabulous and just a part of my routine. On the weekend my desire to indulge in booze and to get tipsy, all whilst gracing Melbourne's cocktail bars, seeing friends and showing off outfits, made me lose sight of how drinking was actually making me feel. 

Alcohol had become, in a way, a sense of identity for me. A part of being Antipodean, being young and fun, even a part of being a writer (we can all envision that romanticised picture of a drunk scribe, sitting behind a booze soaked writer's desk, typing frantically as they come up with their masterpiece).

Image: Supplied.

Now, without alcohol, I feel miles better than I have in a long time. I feel more in control, calmer, less anxious, more vibrant and even more attractive. Overall, I feel more like my true self. The other thing is, when you stop drinking, you can't outsource that sense of relaxation anymore, nor that specific sense of social confidence drinking seems to bring. I mightn't actually have a chemical dependance or addiction to alcohol, but I do have a bit of underlying anxiety in me I've always had to manage. I've now realised that drinking has always been a part of my subconscious management plan for this - in fact it has been since I was about 15 years old. Facing this has been both confronting and liberating.

In talking to my various friends who have also recently decided to stop or cut back, I have been hearing similar feedback on their experiences. Comments like "I didn't have a drinking problem, but I kind of did have a bit of a drinking problem." Or simply, "I just feel so much better without it" It is astounding how universal these feelings are.

There are other benefits to sober-flexibility that go beyond improving your brain chemistry and energy levels. Not drinking saves you money, is much better for your body, and if you want to appeal to your vanity, I would say it definitely improves your skin and general vibrance. You also get your weekends back - Sundays can start early in the sunshine rather than be spent in bed with junk food and streaming services.

In saying that, in sober-flexibility, these friends of mine, and me, for the most part, aren't going tee-total. This way of living isn't an all-or-nothing approach. It's simply about saving alcohol for special occasions, for treating it mindfully, for stopping after just one two glasses, for savouring alcohol in its deliciousness, for taking a more European approach and only ever drinking with food, etc.

Do I miss drinking, right now? Not really. I did feel a little bored last Saturday night but so be it - that can't compete with how good I've felt throughout the week. In terms of the past, those few, perfect nights where a close friend and I guzzled wine and laughed until dawn still have a special place in my memory bank, as do those nights where a great group of friends and I drank and danced and drank and danced. But those good times don't eclipse the bad, nor even the average - those many, many times where I went out, drank a bit too much, spent more money than I’d have liked to and subsequently felt crap the day afterwards. 

Listen to Fill My Cup to know what's it really like to go sober when everyone else isn't. Post continues below.

After only a few weeks off, I now look at lovely cocktails in the hands of a friend, or the Instagram picture of someone I admire, in the same way I view Audrey Hepburn's cigarette holder in Breakfast at Tiffany's - elegant, aspirational in a way, but I'm not going to put poison in my body just to get the look (not to mention poor Audrey died of cancer in her early 60s).

In my newfound sober-flexibility, I envision a future for myself where I can have a glass of champagne at a wedding, a perfect martini at a beautiful cocktail bar or a glass of red paired with a bowl of pasta. That kind of drinking is not what I'm giving up. But I am giving up my dependance on it, my habit of it, my having to order something alcoholic every time I go out in the evenings. Because honestly, life is just better without booze.

Feature Image: Supplied.

Here is more information about the charity I am raising money for.