'I date men less attractive than me. Here's what people get wrong.'

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Belinda Gavin spends her working days immersed in conventional attractiveness. As an event manager, she's frequently surrounded by good-looking men. But when it comes to her personal life, Belinda takes a different approach.

"I usually date men I see as less attractive than me," she explained.

Belinda, a former model, says her attraction to "less attractive" men isn't about vanity or superiority, it's about wanting someone she can have fun with. And, she adds, men who aren't "really, really ridiculously good-looking" often bring a lot more to the fun department.

"It's not that I'm sitting there rating people out of ten," she said. "It's just natural for me to notice. But what I've realised is that the men I find less physically attractive are often the ones who make me laugh the most.

"They're quirky, funny, goofy. They have this authenticity that goes deeper than abs or jawlines."

Belinda, who works as an event manager for of sxhibition.com, says these men are often more loyal and less rigid about appearances.

"Some really attractive guys can be obsessed with the gym or their image, and honestly, that's a turn-off. I like balance. I like someone who knows how to be playful, spontaneous, and kind," she said.

Turns out there's a name for Belinda's dating approach, and it's exploding on TikTok.

Watch: The TODAY show hosts discuss the new Gen Z term, 'shrekking'. Post continues below.

It's called Shrekking.

The name comes from the animated ogre in Shrek — someone who doesn't fit the classic fairytale ideal of hotness but wins hearts anyway. The concept is that some women deliberately date men they see as "less attractive," assuming those men will treat them better because they're "punching above their weight."

On TikTok, the hashtag #shrekking has racked up hundreds of thousands of views, with women of all ages getting on board. For some women, it's about looking beyond looks, while for others, it's a full-on dating strategy.

But it doesn't always work out according to plan, say some commentators.

"We give the guy we're not attracted to a chance, thinking he'll treasure us… and then we get traumatised by a whole troll," writes one. Another writes: "Ugly guys can break your heart too."

More than a trend.

While Belinda doesn't think of her dating life as a trend, she can see why Shrekking resonates so strongly with women.

"I get it," she said. "There's a sense of security when your partner clearly admires you and knows he's lucky. It can make you feel more in control."

But for her, it's less about strategy and more about substance. "It's not that I'm trying to protect myself. I just genuinely enjoy men with character, humour and a big heart. That's what's attractive to me," Belinda explained.

Unfortunately, Belinda says her choice of partners has drawn attention for all the wrong reasons. "I've had people assume I'm with them for money," she said. "But honestly, my friends and family just want me to be happy. They know I value respect and connection more than looks."

The men involved love it though, she says, and for Belinda, that's what counts.

"Often, they're proud to be dating someone they see as 'out of their league'. It boosts their confidence and makes them more appreciative. And that's a nice energy to be around," she said.

"The cultural obsession with beauty is exhausting."

"Everyone's chasing this perfect face or body," said Belinda. "But real attraction is about how someone makes you feel. Confidence, humour, kindness — those things outlast everything else."

Listen to Mamamia Out Loud. In this episode, the Mamamia team discusses an article that has listed '56 dating red flags that should send you running' ranging from full-blown turn-offs to general 'icks.' Post continues below.

As for the future, she doesn't plan to change course. "I'll keep dating people who make me laugh, surprise me, and let me be myself. TikTok may have given this approach a name, but Belinda says she's been "Shrekking" long before it became a hashtag.

"It's not about trolls or strategy," she said. "It's about authenticity. The men I date remind me that the best relationships aren't about appearances — they're about how deeply you connect."

And in the end, she adds, "that kind of attraction never goes out of style."

Feature Image: Supplied.