Meet the woman who won't open doors or speak to waiters.

Filling up your car with petrol without you having to ask. Opening the door for you. Carrying your bags. Paying for nail appointments. Bringing you a coffee in bed. Running errands for you when you're tired. Taking care of you when you're sick.

Are these acts what you'd call the bare minimum in a relationship, or princess treatment?

Chances are, if you've spent any time on TikTok over the last week or so, you've come across the princess treatment debate. Whether it's partners being quizzed about what counts as princess treatment versus the bare minimum, or that viral video from content creator Courtney Palmer.

The trend has exploded at a time when many women are reassessing what they want from relationships. After years of being told to lower their standards, there's a growing movement of women demanding more.

But the princess treatment phenomenon raises uncomfortable questions about whether we're moving forward or backward.

Watch a snippet of content creator Courtney Palmer talk about princess treatment in her relationship. Post continues below.

It comes down to how women would like to be treated compared to how they are actually treated.

We might say a man opening the car door for us is the bare minimum, while they might see it as princess treatment.

On the surface, it's a light-hearted trend, but Courtney's video highlighted a darker side.

Last month, she shared a viral video detailing a typical date night in her relationship.

"If I am at a restaurant with my husband, I do not talk to the hostess, I do not open any doors, and I do not order my food," she said in the video.

Courtney said she doesn't "make eye contact" or speak to the hostess, opting to let her husband "lead and be masculine".

"It's not that I'm not capable of ordering for myself, it's just a fun princess treatment sort of thing," she said.

"You don't need to overspeak or overexert yourself… You're not going to be laughing loudly, speaking loudly, or demanding the attention of the room when you're at a restaurant."

The backlash to the TikTok video was swift and fierce.

Courtney's video about princess treatment went viral. And not everyone agreed. Image: TikTok/courtney_joelle.

Critics argued Courtney was promoting a regressive view of femininity.

Others questioned whether this was truly "princess treatment" or simply performative submission dressed up in empowering language.

Courtney has since defended herself, saying it was taken out of context.

Speaking to People, she said she was not a "silent woman who isn't allowed to speak."

"I speak, I laugh, I make decisions in my life… I enjoy the grace of my husband taking the lead, confirming the reservation he made. He pulls out my chair, orders for me after I've decided what I'd like to eat. It's not control, it's care."

She described princess treatment as "a gentle way of living."

"It begins with how you care for yourself. It's not about him, it's about you. You're choosing softness, calm and grace… You're making space for that peace by embracing your feminine energy without shame," she said.

But many who commented on the video had an alternative perspective — doing things to take care of your partner is simply part of being in a relationship.

Sure, some things might count as unrealistic expectations, but for the most part, they really are the bare minimum.

However, encouraging women to become smaller versions of themselves is where the alarm bells start to ring.

If you want to be submissive in a supportive relationship, go for it. But being in touch with your femininity doesn't mean you can't take up space.

Because being a princess can mean whatever you want it to mean.

Modern "princesses" come in all forms. They're CEOs who expect their partners to match their energy. They're mothers who demand equal parenting partnerships. They're women who know their worth and aren't afraid to communicate their needs clearly.

Content creator Meredith Lynch, who's gone viral for her parodies of Courtney's princess treatment video, put it well when she told the New York Times: "The last thing we need is somebody out there advocating for us to be quieter at a time when we're already being silenced."

The real conversation isn't about princess treatment versus the bare minimum — it's about what healthy relationships look like in 2025. It's about partners who anticipate each other's needs, who show up consistently, and who make each other feel valued without anyone having to perform a diminished version of themselves.

So yes, we're here for your partner raising the bar and meeting your expectations. But don't suppress your needs to chase an unrealistic projection of femininity.

Because the best kind of princess treatment is the kind that makes you feel more like yourself, not less.

Feature image: TikTok/courtney_joelle via People.